Nervous Breakdown

My, my, my.

Big things afoot for the career. Or not. I'm sort of to the point where I think that whatever I write is redundant tripe and I should give up. And I just know the good stuff won't happen to me. But it might right? I mean, I could end up getting the agent of my dreams. I really hate the uncertainty. And I hate not being able to tell people what is going on. And the reason I can't tell people is because I broke the rules and if it doesn't pan out I don't want people to say, "that was stupid, why did you think you would be an exception to the rules?" Of course, if it does end up working out then I will be one of the few who broke the rules and it worked.

So when did I become the sort of person who didn't expect good things? Oh, Yeah. The day they told me I somehow beat the odds and came down with an incredibly rare brain tumor. Yeah. That was it. Oh and when the doctor told me the chances of getting a secondary tumor from the radiation were extremely slim, I just laughed. Which is why I drink a bottle of wine every MRI Day. And the last one... not too long ago led me to the next paragraph.

Last MRI day I did something so stupid I just can't believe it. I was under the influence of my MRI bottle of wine. Then I tried to fix it and was even more stupid. She, who shall not be named, knows what I am talking about and I hope I will be telling this story when I am rich and famous. Until then, I hope it never gets out.

The tiara club went well. I wore my tiara and one other person did as well. I had a nice showing of about ten. Am hoping for twice that many next time. But I will have a nice report back to the boss. I won't tell her about knocking my chair over.

And my parents are here. Oh, and they are getting back together again. The story is too long to get into. But I guess I am happy. After all my 89 year old dad would be happier.

I should just get back to work. Lose myself in something besides worry! HA!