Getting closer

My kids are over the little kids. They still help a lot, but I can tell by their attitudes that they're over it. Over getting woken up early(especially my daughter who has to get up so early for skating anyway. On her days off she wants to sleep!) Over sharing their rooms that they can no longer consider sanctuary. Over always having to feed the kids before they put food into their continually hungry teenage bodies. Over the house smelling like pee and poo. Over having to give up events because we have no one to watch the sleeping babies so I can pick them up. Over the noise, the sticky floors, the drool, the diapers and the bickering. Tired of their mother always being tired and bitchy. The court date is the eleventh and I am hoping that mommy gets them back. We cannot do this long term.

Not that my children are not compassionate. My son really doesn't want them going back with mom because he believes they won't have a chance of making a good life with her. But he is mature enough to know that we can't do this forever. And they are teens. Compassion will only take them so far. But they continue to help. Last night, they played yard games like Red Light Green Light and Simon Says while I made dinner. But their tempers and patience and tolerance is much shorter.

In writing news... congrats to all the RWA Rita and Golden Heart Winners! I can only imagine the excitment they all must be experiencing. How fun the gala must be. Perhaps next year. And in reading all the accounts of nationals, I am excited to get back to my writing. So even though I wasn't there, I have been encouraged. Now that is the power of a conference!

Book of Your Heart Finalist!

Just got the news that READ MY LIPS is a PASIC Book of Your Heart Finalist! I was so sure that it wouldn't make it! I sent in two and LIPS finaled! I was anxious about this contest because the preliminary judges are book sellers. My name was last on the list so I am thinking LIPS tied and barely managed to squeak by, but hey, I'll take it!

In other good news, one of my CP's, Dawn Groszek, finaled for contemp with her Love's Duet. So excited for her! And me!
Teri

One More

I have one more article to complete this month and I'm done with nonfiction for July. I managed to do seven this month which is amazing, considering. I have a couple set up for next month, but am going to have to hustle up a few more.

I filled out all the paper work for the camp for the eldest new kidlet. I think he'll have fun and God knows we need the break. The camp is longer than I had wanted... from nine am to four in the afternoon, but since they go on a lot of fieldtrips that is to be expected. And I think the kids will go back at the end of August, so it will work out just fine. I might actually have time to work on fiction.

Still not sure which book I am going to start on. My friend, Shirley Jump, just sold her 25th book in six years. I remember when she sold her first one... I was so happy for her. I can't believe what she's done with her career. So I may do the adult one first, just to get my feet wet, so to speak. Then I can start on Looking for Laguna.

Not much more to report, no clever observations or funny anecdotes. Too sleepy for that.

Drowning

In paperwork and work.

I have papers all over my desk. Wic papers, federal assistance papers (all three kids are elegible for assistance) papers to fill out to have the state pay for day camps for the eldest, papers filled with names of other foster parents to call for support, papers listing do's and don'ts for disciplining foster children... the list is endless. I know I can shove them all in the folder, but they have to be gone over, filled out and changes made.

Then there is writing. Finished another article today. The rough anyway. I am sure it is disjointed as I had to write in twenty minute increments. Am hoping for some time tonight to go over it and maybe finish another one. Am far behind and I haven't touched fiction in ages. I miss my CP's. I miss living in another world(I could use another world right about now!)

Everyone is gearing up for Nationals and once again I am feeling left out. Couldn't afford it. Didn't sell this year. (and as things turned out, I couldn't go anyway!) But, I am not complaining. Since the Reno Nationals, I've completed a really wonderful book and scored a top notch agent. Last year, I made more with my writing than I ever have. I have learned tons and tons and went to a writers conference where I met several wonderful agents and editors and made some good friends. And I scored a fabulous CP. (Hi Shannon!) So, all and all, I have moved foreward this year:)

I'll hang onto that:)
Teri

Memory trick?

Is it a memory trick or is it me?

I remember taking my children to the lake. Brown berry babies playing at the waters edge, exclaiming over their latest treasure, coming up to me for more snacks and to show me what they found. So I thought I would take the current crop of babies to the lake. Not even close. Kids hated getting too far away from me and hovered next to the blanket kicking sand on everything. Didn't know how to play alone. Baby wanted to eat sand and screamed for three hours because I wouldn't let her. I must have said "go play," 500 times.

Another illusion shot.

Am wavering between working on HOT and LOOKING FOR LAGUNA. Sigh. Thought I was ready to tackle an adult romance, but the teens of Laguna are louder. Teens are always louder. Of course, at the moment, I'm not finding time to write much of anything.

My agent is going to wait until September to pitch LIPS. Said she doesn't want to pitch anything so good in the month of August. So I will trust her judgement and wait. Maybe I will luck out and final in the Pasic contest. Not holding my breath, though. A lot of talented authors entered.

My Next Books...

Trying to get back into the swing of things. Have been thinking a lot on HOT. It has been languishing at chapter one for a couple of weeks now. Agent McDreamy isn't sure it's right for the line I've targeted. Am still going to write it, though. I think it's a great idea.

I do have another YA idea that has been forming. I like it and think it would sell. Have a lot more plotting to do on it. This one includes a working class girl and AM loves the idea of a working classs heroine. Will write out a synopsis one of these days. She needs to come from a midwestern state. Not sure which one though. But since it includes a road trip, it needs to be far enough from California to allow a long enough trip for all sorts of adventures to happen a long the way.

Can't wait to start writing fiction again. But first I have a ton of nonfiction to finish up. I worked on an article last night and will finish it this morning while the children are gone... they go visit their mom today. I have another one that is due that I need to get out, too. I need to be diligent and not get distracted! Not think about that warm soft bed that I could sink into for several hours. Sent LIPS out yesterday. Hope to hear from Agent McDreamy soon. I love sending stuff out and hearing where it's going to be pitched, etc. The excitement, the nerves, all of it. OTE recieved two more passes over the last week or so. Hardly even disappointed. I don't think it's going to sell. I look back on it and I can't believe it even got an agent. I'm so much better now, due, in part, to Shannon McKeldon, my amazing CP.

Nothing new to report on the kidlet front. They are small and warm and needy. I do have to say, that it's no wonder mom allows unsuitable men in her life... I have two teens and a husband and am barely surviving it. I couldn't imagine trying to do this on my own. (Not that that is an excuse to letting unsafe people into your children's lives... just an observation.)

Okay... rink time.

fini

Finished that last scene. My CP said it worked for her, so I am going to go over the manuscript one more time and send it to agent McDreamy. Whew!

I had several hours to myself yesterday. Wrote the scene, took a shower and cleaned my poor house. The boy was working and ice princess took the opportunity to go hang out with friends. I have all the info I need to write up a couple of articles. So in other words, I am staying afloat.

:)

It is time ...

That I blogged.

But what to say about my life that wouldn't come out as an exhausted whimper? I get up at five and try to go to bed by eleven. In between I drive, cook three meals a day, hand out constant snacks, fold loads of clothes and direct my troops hither and thither. I read stories, deal with Gabe and change dozens of diapers. I try to write and research and conduct interviews when I can. I filled up my car this morning and pushed zero on my milage guage. I drove 105 miles by the time I made my last pick up.

We have Gabe in vacation bible school this week. I don't even have to take him. My friend comes and picks him up and brings him home. It's a big help to have him out of the house for three hours in the morning. And he gets to play with other kids in a way that is highly structured, which is good for him. He and the girls are going to the zoo tomorrow with their mom for a three hour visit. It's her birthday. It will be supervised, of course. But altogether, that is four hours they will be gone and I can't decide what to do... sleep? Work on nonfiction? Finish the scene in LIPS? Probably the scene. That should be a priority.

On the good news front, I told my main client what's going on and they were just wonderful about it. They're going to give me assignments with no deadlines for a while and are sending me a ton of toys, DVD's educational computer games and baby stuff. iParenting.com rocks. Go check them out.

The two little ones are on WIC and that helps replenish the amazing amount of milk and juice that goes out of this house. It looks like the federal monies are going to go through, so that will be a huge help. I started a folder just for the kids. The amount of paperwork is amazing.

Okay, I have to run to the store, straighten up the house and get to bed. Thanks for listening to me whine a bit.

Sorry...

For all the typos, mispellings, etc., in the last post. Too sleepy.

YES!

I finished an article last night! May not sound like much, but let me tell you, I felt like I'd won the lottery!

Maybe, just maybe I can do this. Now I just have to work on that scene in LIPS that needs to be added!

Lost blog

I had this great post that I worked on yesterday. Every hour or so when I could spare a few minutes I would write what I had been doing. I got all the way to 4:00 pm and when I sat down to add to it at six, my son had exited the page!

Am far to tired to try it again.

What can I say? When I am able to sit down to write I am too tired to be coherent. My agent loved LIPS and I have one scene to add and it goes out. Can't find time. I have two articles I can get out. Can't find time. I realized at 3:00 yesterday that I hadn't even BRUSHED MY TEETH YET! (but I had time to blog, shows where my priorities are!)

It's hard. But on the upside, little karen, the one we thought was a druggie baby has realy come out of her shell. She has morphed from an almost completely nonresponsive baby into a chortling, bright eyed little punkin head. You have to wonder how this affects even the little ones. they are so attached to their mother, have to be too survive, then she went from her mothers house to a foster home, to our house. No wonder she wasn't respinding much. Her trust attachment had been completely severed. Now that she has attached herself to me, she probably feels safe. Everyone adores her.

Gabe isn't doing as well. He is having a hard time because he was a totally raised by the TV kind of kid. Don't get me wrong... we love our TV around here. But when my kids were little, I limited it far more and made them learn how to entertain themselves. Gabe has a real problem with that. He fell asleep on the couch everynight in front of the television. He has decided that he loves our night time story time, though, even if we do make him go to bed at an obscenely early hour. (8:30) He loves to scare people, like walking by and then screeching BOO! in their face. Like every five minutes. Sometimes would be fine, but my nerves can't take it. Everyone hated it and we are trying to break him of it. He causes a lot of problems with his sisters. Loves to devil them. Now, I understand little boys do that... I had one:) But he is relentless. I just keep looking at the vulnerable scared little kid underneath the loud and it keeps me trying to get through to him.

I should be writing, but just can't. I will try tomorrow.

Happy Tired Fourth

Am tired. Not feeling too festive. This is the first time my family has been separated for the Fourth. The boy left to go hang with a friend and the ice princess stayed most of the day helping. She and her friend put the toddler bed together, bounced babies and gave the two year old a bath. Then she took off to a friend's house because they were having a party. Sigh. I guess they are growing up. Plus, things are pretty hectic here.

This morning went okay. Of course, I didn't have to take the kids anywhere and they didn't have school. I don't know how we are going to manage that. I did manage to get a chapter edited, though I need to add to it. Kids are definitely better in the morning. Gabe only got out of hand a few times. Our friends showed up with their babies and all the stuff they had for us, including a crib, carseats, tons of clothes, a toddler bed and a small box of toys. Mostly baby toys though... not big kid toys or books. Tomorrow my son will be gone part of the day and my daughter will be going to an ice rink in the morning. I will be alone with the young ones. No doubt my hubby will still be sleeping most of the morning, so I guess I'll see if I can do this on my own.

They are going to visit their mother tomorrow. The CSD is coming to get them and she gets to spend an hour with them. I am glad she gets to see them...but then today made me wonder how smart it is. Gabe can understand a lot. he knows we are relatives and he knows he is safe here. That it's a good place. Zoe, on the other hand is too little to understand. Today, I was walking our friends to the car and she went out with me, saw the open car doors and became hysterical. She clung to me and screamed "Zoe no go!" Broke my heart. So I guess she knows it's a safe place too.

Anyway, they are all in bed and I have to get some work tomorrow, so I should hit it.

I'll never write again...

This first night was amazing.

Gabe is hyper and vulnerable at the same time. Zoey is a doll... definitely not three. A very demanding two year old. Karen is sweet and quiet for a nine month old. I am thinking drugs may have affected her because she has the hugest head on any baby I have ever seen.

It was so chaotic. We really weren't prepared. My poor husband has had about 3 hours of sleep in the last twenty four and he did the best he could. My son came home, played games with Gabe for twenty minutes and fled. My ice princess has been a rock. But how will I get them to where they need to go? Math class? Youth council? The rink? And as for writing? Right. I have six articles to finish up this month. Maybe just maybe....

Right now I am hot and have a splitting headache.

My hats off to any mothers with young children who can write.