For the past few mornings we've had a skunk nosing around the greenspace next to our home. You all remember my dog, Scrappy, right? Well, Scrappy does take offense to any creature roaming to close to our back yard, hims does.
This morning at 3AM, my exhausted Dh let Scrappy out to go to the bathroom.
Scrappy is part Dachshund, part Beagle and ALL HOUND. The skunk had the audacity to actually come INTO the backyard and Scrappy went ballistic in an effort to drive him out. Woke me out of a sound sleep. I sat up and thought, S&%#, he's got a coon cornered.
Nope, just your average, ordinary skunk. I don't know what actually happened out there in the dark--some Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon crap, no doubt, but I do know who won. Scrappy got a full frontal skunk assault. So DH lets him into the house and says inanely, "He got sprayed."
No shit, Sherlock. Ya think? I'm running around in my old stripped nightgown, trying to function, my son is yelling from his bedroom to get the dog back outside and my daughter has slipped on a gas mask.(WTF? Does she keep one under her bed in case of a random mustard gas attack?) Dh just stands there, blinking wildly, while Scrappy rubs his offending face all over the couch.
Chaos. Mayhem. Bedlam. Confusion in the ranks.
So far, we have washed him with vinegar and shampoo, Hydrogen Peroxide and dishsoap, and then used degreaser and a bounce sheet on his head where we could actually see the skunk oil. We've set out bowls of coffee grounds and vinegar and sprayed the house with Febreze. Now DH is headed to the store for a Massingill Douche. Yes, I will be douching my dog at 6AM.
Sorry Ann, I don't think I'm going to make our Starbucks chat this morning.