Friday, November 13, 2009

My Husband is a big A** Baby

And I don't care who hears me say it.

For the record, I love this man. He has worked for his family harder than any man on the face of the planet,(just ask him). How could you not love a man who grocery shops, keeps my car running, fixes stuff and does laundry? Seriously. Plus, he has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh more often than not.

But.
No, make that BUT.

He is a baby. What's that baby chant we used to taunt little kids with when we were bigger kids, but not big enough to be totally secure in our bigness? Kind of like neener, neener, baby needs a binky, or something like that? That's the kind of BABY I'm talking about.

I've always known this. He is NOT a good patient. (He will admit this himself.) At twenty he ruptured his appendix and by the time his mother got there, the nurses were all like, "Oh, Thank GOD, she's finally here!"

So this shouldn't be news. I've nursed him through many an illness, after all.

But now he has a hernia and the end of the world is AT HAND. When he told me on the phone that he had to have surgery, and would be down for a month, I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK. I thought, if that man is going to be sick for a month, I'm outta here. Whatever sick, sadistic S.O.B. wrote the vows in sickness and in health never had to take care of MY husband. Turns out, he would only be down a few days and would be on light duty for a month, but that is the kind of EXAGGERATION I am dealing with.

I'm trying to be sympathetic, really I am. But a hernia is NOT that big of a deal. MILLIONS of people get them and have them FIXED. I understand it is a big deal to him and I'm trying. God, am I trying.

But for the love of all that is good and holy, he's whining to a woman who had TWO children without the benefit of drugs, a twelve hour BRAIN SURGERY, BRAIN RADIATION, and had a blood vessel in the back of her sinus CAUTERIZED with VOLTS Of ELECTRICITY! WHILE CONSCIOUS.

I could SMELL my own BURNING FLESH.

Ahem. So I am really struggling with being as sympathetic as he needs me to be. Possibly because there isn't ENOUGH SYMPATHY IN THE WORLD that would satisfy.

There. I just had to get that off my chest.

6 comments:

Lexi said...

LOL! Thanks for a good laugh! And good luck!!!

Kerensa Brougham said...

Poor baby! (You, not him.) Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read that post. Thanks for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

Anonymous said...

It is very interesting for me to read the post. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Anonymous said...

The day after i got all four of my wisdom teeth removed, my husand caught a cold. Guess who took care of whO?

Anonymous said...

My husband sleeps and pouts about everything. He
can't take care of anything and without me he would fall flat on his face.

K Stewart