Thursday, March 12, 2009

Things that Irritate me About Sleeping With Husband

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. He's a wonderful man. But as I was tossing and turning last night I realized I no longer like to sleep with him. Here's why:

1. He's hot. Since I am always cold, you'd think this would be a good thing. But in the twenty years since we've been married he's morphed from a comfy heating pad into a hulking ball of fire. Honestly, sleeping with him is like jumping into a vat of boiling oil--while having a hotflash--in hell.

2. He's a cover thief. He not only steals the covers, he hijacks them and holds them hostage by throwing one leg on top of them. (Probably because he's hot.)This makes it difficult to move, like being wrapped in a straight-jacket. I can tug, pull and yank and they stay immobile.

3. His cat. I can take partial responsibility for this because I brought him the damn cat, but I had no idea how many sleepless nights this would result in. The cat loves him unconditionally. Searches for him through the house, screaming and then gazes at him with eyes full of adoration when he finds him. Of course, I've seen the cat gazing at a table lamp the same way, but I don't tell my husband that. The cat sleeps with us, then gets hungry (or too hot) and wants out. So I jump up to let him out and he freaks because he thinks I am going to throw him out of the bedroom, so he runs under the bed. After I crawl back under the covers, he remembers that he wants out. No short term memory. So he cries to get out, I try to let him out and then he hides again. I HATE THAT CAT.

4. Our bed is too small. We've both grown since we were first married and no matter how much weight I take off, the bed remains too small. Enough said.

So basically, I'm dreaming of the day when the kids leave so I can make a guest room out of one of their rooms. Now I know why the Bradys slept in separate beds. Smart people.


HeatherMarie said...

LOL I can relate to the cover theif thing. I only spend a few nights out of the week w/ my boyfriend (the rest I'm in my own bed), but yes on those nights I'm fighting for covers. He insists that I throw the covers off myself, but I've seen him pull the covers also. He not only pulls them, but he coccoons himself in them. The only way to get the covers back is to unravel him. Grrrr.

I can also understand the irritating cat, but alas, it's my own cat at home that repeatedly wakes me. Salem likes to play the in/out game at home. Because I live w/ my parents and there are "dog issues" w/ my cat, I cannot just leave the door open for him. Thankfully I'm getting a new bedroom in the basement and it's gonna have a cat door. Salem can let his own self out. :)

Ana said...

Teri, This made me laugh. Sister-in-law talking here. Rick has become more than the heating pad as well...what's the deal here? Also didn't used to steal covers, but now he does all the time. Hasn't got that throw the leg thing going yet, thank goodness! What's with these brothers, eh? Scary!

Keri Mikulski said...

LOL! :)

Annie said...


Jenna Bayley-Burke said...

I slept in BabyBoys bed last night - he was at Grandmas. But, um, the Brady's slept in the same bed. Donna Reed had separate beds. Desi & Lucy too.

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