Friday, August 26, 2005

Nervous Breakdown

My, my, my.

Big things afoot for the career. Or not. I'm sort of to the point where I think that whatever I write is redundant tripe and I should give up. And I just know the good stuff won't happen to me. But it might right? I mean, I could end up getting the agent of my dreams. I really hate the uncertainty. And I hate not being able to tell people what is going on. And the reason I can't tell people is because I broke the rules and if it doesn't pan out I don't want people to say, "that was stupid, why did you think you would be an exception to the rules?" Of course, if it does end up working out then I will be one of the few who broke the rules and it worked.

So when did I become the sort of person who didn't expect good things? Oh, Yeah. The day they told me I somehow beat the odds and came down with an incredibly rare brain tumor. Yeah. That was it. Oh and when the doctor told me the chances of getting a secondary tumor from the radiation were extremely slim, I just laughed. Which is why I drink a bottle of wine every MRI Day. And the last one... not too long ago led me to the next paragraph.

Last MRI day I did something so stupid I just can't believe it. I was under the influence of my MRI bottle of wine. Then I tried to fix it and was even more stupid. She, who shall not be named, knows what I am talking about and I hope I will be telling this story when I am rich and famous. Until then, I hope it never gets out.

The tiara club went well. I wore my tiara and one other person did as well. I had a nice showing of about ten. Am hoping for twice that many next time. But I will have a nice report back to the boss. I won't tell her about knocking my chair over.

And my parents are here. Oh, and they are getting back together again. The story is too long to get into. But I guess I am happy. After all my 89 year old dad would be happier.

I should just get back to work. Lose myself in something besides worry! HA!


Elisabeth Naughton said...

The worry/fear thing is going around. If you figure out a way to overcome it, please let me know.

I'm glad the tiara club went well (and I'm glad you wore it in your fancy restaurant.)


Shannon McKelden said...

Wow, Teri, what's with no one wearing their tiara's to a Tiara Club? Heck, my group of writing friends...we ALL have tiara's, which we have ALL worn in Applebee's, to RWA meetings (when we sold our books), and frequently just to our get-togethers. Mine sits above my writing desk reminding me that I DESERVE to wear a frickin' tiara, just for being me!! So do you! Sounds like, instead of being down that you developed a rare brain tumor, you should be wearing that tiara and thrilled that you BEAT that brain tumor (as the survivor of a thyroid cancer with only about 170 known cases in the WORLD over the last 20 years, I get RIGHT where you're coming from!).

Cheer! And wear the dang tiara when you deserve it for all you do! :-)


Gena Showalter said...

Even at this stage, there's worry that the book will bomb and all that. Best thing is to just keep going full steam ahead!

I need a tiara!

Cherlyn Michaels said...

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