Job Search Update

Dear Ms. Bigwig,

As you can tell from my resume, I have many qualifications that would make me right for your cushy, well-paying job. Thank you for taking the time to consider my resume.
Sincerely,
Teri Brown

Dear Teri Brown,

Thank you for your interest in answering phones, making coffee and coordinating schedules. It looks as if you have all the right qualifications for the job. Unfortunately, you do not have a degree. I understand if you did have a degree you would have received it before personal computers, (or any computers for that matter,) were common and would therefore be out of date, but without that degree you could not possibly know how to answer a phone.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Mr. Bigwig's secretary

Dear Mr. Burger Joint Owner,
As you can tell from my resume, I have many qualifications that would make me a master burger flipper. Thank you for your consideration.
Teri Brown

Dear Teri Brown,

Thank you so much for your interest in the position of master burger flipper. I'm afraid you are over-qualified and would not be happy in this job for the long term.
Regretfully,
Mr. Burger Joint Owner's wife

PS. Can you sign a book for my daughter? I know she would love it.

Dear Perfect Job for Me Boss,

I would be perfect for this position. Thank you for your time.

*crickets*