Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Things I Said I'd Never Do

It's humbling to recall all the things you said you'd never do. You know, the great pronouncements you make that you end up having to take back. This isn't just in teendom either, it's that haughty mid twenties age when you still think you know it all and your opinions are ironclad. The most famous one that most people make is: "I'd never allow my children to do that."

Sure you won't.

Here are some of mine. (The ones I can bear to admit to)

1. I will never buy whole bean coffee. My mother began buying whole bean coffee before I did and I was vocal in my ridicule. Folgers is FINE, I said. I drink too much coffee to pay that much for it, I said. What a pain in the arse, I said. Now I'm fully equipped with a grinder, an espresso machine and a french press. How I ate my words. Or drank them, as the case may be. Now when I go to my FIL's place and he hands me a cup of Folgers coffee, I grimace inwardly at every sip and look at it as if it were an alien, seeking to destroy me. Shudder.

2. I will never spend four dollars on a cup of coffee. Uhhuh. It took me several years to become a Starbucks addict. I refused to step into the place. I laughed at all those espresso swilling people and thought it was just for the local rastas and college kids. Now we BUDGET for Starbucks. How the mighty have fallen.

3.I will never listen to rap/hip hop music. This one took longer. Then I heard Usher and Luda and Lil John do Yeah. Blew my head right off. Pretty soon my daughter was teaching me Soldier Boy dance, bopping my head to Lollypop, and wishing I too, could wear apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. (At over forty, I totally can't.) Some of my favorite artists now have the first name Lil.

4. I will never watch reality TV. Now my favorite shows are almost all reality TV. The Biggest Loser, Survivor, The Bachelor... the list goes on.

5. I will never cuss in front of my kids. Yeah. That one lasted until the fourth day after giving birth to my son as he cried in the middle of the night for another feeding. I said, and I quote, "OH sh*&. Not again." It just went downhill from there.

What things did you say you would never do... come on, join the eat your words fest.


SiriusWriter said...

I said I'd never cuss and like you that lasted all of maybe a week :) I said I'd never tell my kids to clean their rooms and now I say it on a daily basis. I said I'd never open another daycare and I'm finishing the licensing process for my state.

TJ Brown said...

Now I say, how can you raise children and not cuss once in a while???

Lexi said...

I would never teach...

It's been 8 years in front of middle schoolers!

Joyce Anthony said...

Cussing must be a big one--been there, done that. I also said I'd never own a cell phone (can't leave home without it now), never have cats for pets (they keep finding me-I CAN'T turn them away!) --there is just so much I could list here!!!

Keri Mikulski said...

Love this!

Me, while pregnant with my first child - I will never let my child watch more then one hour of television a day.

:) Yeah right.

PJ Hoover said...

I do cuss, but I save it for special "angry" times.

And I never like coffee until four years ago and now I can't get enough.

fun post!

Sheri said...

Give my middle schooler a cell phone. I didn't see the need. So... she's had her phone now for 9 months and she's in the ... 6th grade.

That one I still haven't forgiven myself for.

I also said I would never say, "Because I said so!" Now I revel in that phrase and new ways to say it.

Anonymous said...

Those pretty much match what I said I would never do. lol I am a Starbucks addict in a world where everybody around says how dumb it is to pay $4 for a cup of coffee and my defense is - you're not just paying for the cup of coffee, you're also paying for the atmosphere you drink it in. It's amazing the junk we come up with to excuse what we do. lolol

Kim said...

Let's see...we can include all five of yours, and I'll throw in, "My daughter will never have anything pierced other than her ears!" Yeah. She now has her ears, nose, belly button and tongue pierced.

Oh and as a added bonus, let's include, "I'll never act like my mother!" Now I noticed that I eat like my mother, and as I was yelling at my daughter, she said while I was in mid-sentence, "wow, you're acting just like grandma". The end is near!

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