Have I got a NEWS STORY for you!
An eighty-eight year old woman is hanging in her home one morning. The door flies open and a naked man rushes in. This old woman (God bless her quick thinking soul) yells, "Lord Almighty!" grabs his "cahoulies" (her words, not mine) and squeezes. The man runs away (slowly, I'm sure) and the police catch him. His name is...
Wait for it....
Fabulous. You can't make that stuff up, people.
And as a gift for all of you, I offer the most fabulous of boozenog recipes.
3 cups whole milk
3 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup rum
1/2 cup brandy
3/4 cup bourbon
Separate eggs. Beat yolks with sugar till thick. Pour in milk and two cups of cream. Add booze. Chill for 2 hours. Add vanilla. (I use a regular spoonful)Add nutmeg to taste. Beat egg whites till they have stiff peaks and gently fold into nog. Beat last cup of cream until it has stiff peaks. Fold into nog. Imbibe freely. Don't climb on scale for at least a week.