Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Uber Mommies

Hi, My name is Teri and I am an uber Mommy.

Hi Teri

My Story:

I didn't know I was going to be an uber Mommy. When they placed that first little bundle into my arms I thought, "Oh my Gawd, Robin Williams is right. He does look like a little old man dipped in 30 weight."

I was bewildered, befuddled and bothered by young motherhood. I was bewildered cause I didn't know it was going to be so damn hard, befuddled from lack of sleep and bothered because no one had bothered to tell me what it was like. I was also bothered because five months into it and I was preggers again. I hadn't even gotten used to the first one, let alone another one!

The second time they handed me a little bundle I thought, "Oh my gawd, another one. I am never sleeping again."

I was right.

So there I was, a young mother much more prepared to be a hippie stoner chick than a mom.

Then it hit me. I was a mom. I had no idea how to be a mom because my own Mom is... kinda flaky. So I went to school to be a mom and enrolled in an early childhood education program at the local community college.

And that was just the beginning. From tactile games to acting out books, I spent every waking hour "developing" my kids. I read everything I could get my hands on concerning nutrition, development, and education. I chose to homeschool them. Each stage they were in had its corresponding books to read. I carted them to swimming lessons, gymnastic lessons, museums, fieldtrips, and minitrips. We went on picnics and nature walks so they would be attuned to nature, I bought them pets so they would be responsible, dress up clothes so they would be imaginative. I got them involved in sports so they would be fair and know how to work in a group. We threw parties so they wouldn't go party somewhere else.

I became an uber mother with an eye on the prize... two functioning responbsible adults who live outside my home, so I can enjoy a guilt free retirement.

I (pant) Am (gasp) Almost. (heave) There. (gulp)


Anonymous said...

Cept, the still can't live without you :)

Christine Keach said...

You'll always worry, always wonder and sometimes, even when they're adults, you'll still whine about them. (Or is that just my mom who whines about my brother and me?)