Thursday, December 07, 2006

More Drama

As most of you know, we have kept in close contact with the wee ones we fostered last summer. What can I say? We love them even though they drove us nuts and we would have to be insane to do that again.

The condition of their home deteriorated over the last few months. Mom didn't keep herself or the children very clean. The house was gross. Last time we were there (last week) there was human poo on the bathroom floor and slugs and ants weaving their way through it. We thought about calling children's services, but didn't. I decided to go in and clean up the house for her.

Mom had no upbringing whatsoever. In and out of foster homes and parents who were druggies and alcoholics. She simply had no idea how to manage a home, raise children or keep it all together. Of course, raising three children is difficult for the best of single mothers, let alone a woman who was raised the way she was. And now, with no support system (none of the other family members is allowed to take the children except us) no money and no car... I can't even imagine.

Anyway, CSD got there before I did. they have leveled more charges against her and are petitioning to take the kids away from her again. I CAN'T take all three. My children have made so many changes in their lives these last few months... and even in the summer when we could send them out to play, it was incredibly difficult. I live in a thousand square foot house with four people, five cats and two dogs. We are already overcrowed. We could possibly take one. The middle girl who is almost three. The oldest son would fit into our lives better as he is away at school all day, but he has a ton of issues and he drives my own children crazy even though they love him. My beautiful baby Karen... I love her so much, but she just turned one and would take so much supervision. And my dh is head over heels in love with Zoe. She calls him Dad. As in "Dat's my dad!" As she says everytime we see her. We tried to tell her, No, that's uncle, but she would just knit her tiny blond eyebrows together and insist, "No, my DAD!"

So we could save one though my ice princess is a bit resistant. But what would we say to the eldest who is seven? Sorry, auntie and uncle could only take one and they chose your little sister? Chances are slim they will find a home that will take all three. Gawd, what a mess. And there are SO many of these little waifs in the world.

What to do. What to do.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

So much all at once for you. Sending (((hugs))) and prayers your way. The system is so flawed; we try to keep children with their parents, but don't give the adults the tools they need to keep their families together. Then we punish them for not being able to figure it out on their own. And the children suffer worst of all, as always.

No matter what, you have to make the decision based on what's best for everyone involved. I'm just a mouse click away, and any venting will go no further. Hang in there!!! This too shall pass...

Anonymous said...

Oh, that breaks my heart. And so close to Christmas. ;-(

stephhale said...

Teri~
I think you are amazing for even considering to take one. You can't save everyone and you have your own family to consider. I hate that you even have to deal with this situation. No matter what you decide just remember that you have already done way more than most people would! :)
xo,
Steph

The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick said...

Teri, that's so heartbreaking, especially during the holiday season. I've no doubt you feel torn about the children. My heart goes out to you and those little ones.

Christina

Christine Keach said...

I'm so sorry you all have to go through this. I'll keep your family and the children in my thoughts.

Jaci Burton said...

ugh. how horrible for everyone involved, especially the little ones, who are so innocent yet pay so dearly.

it's not easy and with the holidays it's just heartbreaking. i hope it all works out. you're amazing to even consider taking in one extra with all you have to do in your life. i can't even imagine the choice you're considering.

Big hugs!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shannon McKelden said...

Aw, girl! Hang in there! I wish I could wave a wand and give you all the answers, but I can't. Just remember that saving YOUR family is important, too.

Shannon

Anonymous said...

(((Teri)))

chatkat said...

Indeed this is very sad . . . would they consider a family in another state? I cannot even believe I am asking this . . . you can email me privately if you want.

Kathy

chatkat@bellsouth.net

Anonymous said...

'Meeting the criteria'
Threshold Housing said that on this particular scheme they used their own definition of a key worker.
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