Thursday, May 25, 2006

Rants of various sizes

Just feeling pissy.

Rant number 1. Little old women with walkers should not drive five hundred gazillion pound cars. SHOULD NOT. EVER. I'm just saying.

Rant number 2. SUV's should be banned. I could pretend that I have some big eco concern going but it's not that. I am just sick and tired of walking out of a store to find myself sandwiched in between two small mountains. Backing up out of a parking spot has become a sort of driving russian roulette in which I inch out while my children pray, "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God." I think the price of gas is just desserts. REAP IT! Ahem.

Rant number 3. Most men have a relationship IQ of about minus ten. Even the good ones. My Fisherman said to me the other day. "I have learned that you are always going to be you. You are never going to change. When I was young, I thought if I were just compassionate enough you would become a completely different person." This after seventeeen years of marriage. It boggles the mind. And yes, he has since apologised all over himself, yipping, "I didn't mean that the way it sounded," etc.

Rant Number 4 Teenage girls are mean. When I was a teen, I thought it was me. Now that I have a teen girl who was raised with loving parents and given every advantage imaginable, I have decided that it wasn't me, it was them. THEM, I tell you! Child didn't have a mean bone in her body till she turned fourteen. Or maybe it's the hair color. My darling girl has now perfected the blond toss of hair and evil blue gaze that can drop young men where they stand and make girls the world over shudder.

Rant number 5. Chris Doughtry isn't the American Idol. I thought I was over this till I heard him sing again last night. What were you thinking people???Really!? WTF???


Anonymous said...

Well, I LOVE my SUV Acura MDX...AND, Honey, I have an automatic back-up camera! LOL! Sweet! But, I DO hate ASSHATS who park crooked or take 2 spaces up! I mean...shet!
i always make sure I park straight or I re-park...cuz I'm THAT, I don't want some asshole to scratch my perty new car!

Kristen Painter said...

What can I say? I adore my Expedition. I like looking down on the rest of the traffic. And as far as the price of's still cheaper than the petrol in Europe.

I'm pretty decent about parking, too. I make sure I'm well within my lines.

Jaci Burton said...

When Chris finished singing with Live, I just sat there and said, "And Ladies and Gentlemen, there was your American Idol."

wtf indeed.

old people in big cars scare the hell out of me.

teen girls are seriously mean bitches. propels me light years back to high school. *shudder*

Rachel Vincent said...

Well, speaking as someone who was nearly run off the road tonight by a sweet little old lady, I heartily agree with all of your rants today.

Except for that last one. I've never seen American Idol.

Trish Milburn said...

I know what you mean about the SUVs. Hey, I have friends with SUVs, but I drive a Nissan Sentra, one of the '90s models that was little. If I walk out of a store and can't find my car, all I have to do is look for the two largest SUVs and my car will be between them.

And AMEN on Chris Daughtry!

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