And how did this happen?
Last year I took off about forty five pounds and was in striking distance of goal weight. But last spring something snapped in me and I started on a seven month eating binge that leaves me 60 pounds overweight and totally demoralized. Honestly, it was about the time I got the regional magazine position, started writing fiction in earnest and got a promotion to contributing editor with a national magazine. At the time I contributed it to stress. But wait. There's a pattern. I started sending out queries and with every request for a partial I ate more. The requests for fulls had me stuffing those candybar cookies (Who the hell thought up those things?) into my mouth at unbelievable rate.
It isn't stress. I am afraid of success. Someone said on her blog the other day that fear of success was really just fear of failure, because the higher you get the harder you fall.
I am far too driven to ever stop trying to succeed, so I eat to mask the fear. How insecure is that, eh?
So I guess I will join the rest of the US and hit the gym in January. I know how to do it, I've done it before. I just don't know how I will find the time, but I think I am gonna have to get a handle on this. After all, I am going to soon have to have the stamina and energy for all those book tours, yes? Not to mention publicity photos. Though I think that my book will be one of those without the author picture!