Writers and Insecurities

I think insecurities come with the job. You pour your blood into something and then it gets rejected. Sometimes it gets rejected in a manner that hurts and sometimes it gets rejected in a manner that makes you feel good, in spite of the rejection. But it's still a rejection.

Writing is a business. Most of us get that. It's only personal to the writer who worked on something, thinking it was good and then gets the word that its not so much. Professional jealousy, watching a friend's career rise, while yours just sits there, is tough as well. Even if you are thrilled for that person, it can make you feel insecure.

I know writers who've sold their first book, then spend years waiting for the next bite. I know multicontracted writers who have had an editor tell them, please don't submit to us again. Another multi contracted writer had her agent tell her that her proposal would never sell, even though this writer already had about ten books out... only to have the book sell and start her career down a whole new path.

How could you not be insecure? But being insecure at times is almost looked down upon in this business. "It's a business! Get over it!" is often heard over the lists. Yet other businesses have insecure workers. People who second guess themselves in their own particular arena, afraid to present a proposal to the boss for fear it will be shot down. Insecurities are normal. They overtake most of us from time to time.

I think about Hemingway and Steinbeck. I know that Steinbeck particularly, was beset with insecurities with every book he wrote. One of the reasons he drank was to keep the insecurity monsters away. At times, he couldn't face the typewriter, sure that whatever he wrote wouldn't be good enough. I know less about Hemingway, but know he drank heavily, and wasn't particulary successful in his private life. Could this writer warrier have been plagued by the demons of insecurity?

East of Eden is perhaps one of the best books I have ever read. If Steinbeck, one of the greatest writers to ever type a word, can feel insecure, than why can't I, unpublished author of little young adult books, feel the same way? And yet, you really can't admit to it much without being made to feel that you are doing it to get attention/pats on the back/affirmation. Made to feel guilty or somehow less professional. When did asking your peers for affirmation, pats on the back and encouragement become a bad thing?

When did insecurity become a dirty word?

We all admire the confident go getters in this country, those so sure their success will come that they take the plunge and keep on going. But what about those who have moments of self doubt, those who take a deep, shuddering breath and then do it anyway? Don't they deserve our respect and admiration, too?

Just a thought.

Must Write Non-fiction

Totally under the gun the next few days. Have five articles due the 25th and right smack dab in the middle of now and then is Thanksgiving... a four day weekend for the world. Which means that if I don't get my expert interviews in today and the first three days of next week, I don't have a chance of making my deadlines. A lot of the email interviews were promised today so I will have time to go over them and make phone calls on Monday, if needed. Every year at Thanksgiving it's the same story... my editors don't look when they give the deadlines and I don't look when I accept them.

Bloody hell.

So the chances of me doing anything on Dash are very slim. I do need to get my last manuscript out to the GH today. The deadline draws near. Wish me luck, people. Probably the only way I can talk my dh into letting me go to Nationals is to be a finalist. HA!

Like Pulling Teeth: When Writing Hurts

On one hand, we have the Gena Showalters of the world. They write as if possesed and can finish whole books in a single bound. Then we have the Diana Peterfreund's of the world. Three or four pages is a normal day, six to eight a stellar day.

Then there's me. I have tried to write fast. Finished a book in a month once. Of course, it totally sucked and even after I revised, my agent wanted a gazillion changes. And then I have books like DASH (the book formerly known as HOT). They seem to take forever, and I do mean forever. Now granted, in between fiction writing, I'm writing a gazillion non fiction articles. But honestly, writing the first draft is often like pulling teeth, in the old days, without gas or pain killers.

It disturbs me.

I felt much better after hearing author Cherry Adair speak. She said she hates writing first drafts and has to force herself to sit in a chair and write for 15 minutes. Then she gives herself a five minute break.

I do the same thing. I write for a few minutes and then pace, or fold a load of laundry or do dishes. Then come back. Believe it or not, I write better when chatting with someone online about writing. When I can vent. When someone else is pulling teeth. When I don't feel so alone. Very strange.

Oh, and a shout out to my son. As some of you know, he's in a college program to finish his diploma and earn college credit at the same time. At the end of two years, he will have an AA degree and his diploma. Anyway, he took his placement tests yesterday (he has been in precollege classes for the first term). He blew the writing test out of the water! Nailed 119 out of 120 questions and the guidence counciler wants to put him directly into Writing 121 instead of putting him into a lower class to get him ready for 121. And he just turned seventeen:)That's my boy!

Crude but Funny

So my son gets this my space bulletin. It's a list of movies only you have to substitue the word vagina for one of the movie titles. (In case you don't keep your finger on the pulse of the teen world, vagina or gine has become the new in word.) I was appalled and then I started reading some of them. I started giggling, in spite of myself. You were supposed to add your own movie title and then send it on. I read:

Legally Vagina
Vagina Dynamite
Vagina Wars
Raiders of the Lost Vagina
Romancing the Vagina
Jimmy Vagina
Saving Private Vagina
Fun with Dick and Vagina
Monty Python and the Holy Vagina

And my personal favorite: Dude, Where's my Vagina

And yes, my son participated. His addition? One Flew Over the Vagina's Nest.

Ahem.

Oh, and happy birthday to my boy who turns seventeen today.

A plotting I shall go...

A wonderful writing day yesterday was. Met one of my writer friends for coffee and treats yesterday morning. It had been a while, so we had tons to talk about. Getting our manuscripts ready to send to the GH, our current WIP's, my inability to sell a book, etc, etc, etc. Was most fun. Had coffee and a treat that we both thought was a bit too sweet. It really started the day off right. We were supposed to go to our chapter meeting, but decided to skip it and work on editing and plotting instead.

So I came home and whipped out a non fic article, got out my scissors, stacks of sticky notes, and the plotting board my dh gave to me. I decided to go ahead and plot out the rest of HOT/DASH and write it... even if my agent doesn't like it. I do and I want to finish the story and who knows... maybe I can do the contest thing with it until it gets noticed by an editor. Stranger things have happened! At any rate, I want to finish, so I spent the next five hours, plotting, plotting, plotting. First I cut the synopsis up and taped together events as they might happen in chapters. Then I made notes on 3x5 cards for each chapter. Then I color coded the stickys. I had one for each major setting, one each for the POV of both the hero and heroine and one for the backstory for each of them. Then I chose a color for the kissy kissy scenes and one for the major conflict scenes.

I ran into problems right away. I could see where the competition scenes were and realized I needed to move things around to evenly space them in the book. I noticed one chapter that was lacking in stickys and one of the main story arcs happened too soon. I began talking to myself while my family carefully skirted me on their way to the garage, (I was on the floor). I noticed that the heroine had the complete POV in one chapter so I started the next one in the hero's POV. On each of the POV stickers, I would note the main plot points of what happens in their POV and their emotions at that point. I have a CP who is constantly going on about emotion. Her thing is "How does that make him/her feel?" Makes me dig deeper, so I jotted some ideas down as I plotted. I feel pretty darn good. The first three chapters were easy as they're already written. I just put together the little colored sticky books and tacked them on there. I left the last three chapters blank, because I want to see how it goes till then.

I've never plotted so extensively before. And the sticky notes/plotting board works because you can see things in a glance. I'll let you know how successful and useful it really is.

Super Busy!

Am trying to write articles, get LIPS and OTE out to the GH and have decided to Entery HOT in the ______ Contest.

Am changing the title from Smoking Hot to: Need some help here people. Fast!

It's set in Seattle and features a caterer who entered a locally televised cooking contest to save her ailing business, only to find out that the secret celebrity judge was the man she jilted at the airport six years before.

Possibilities

-If You Can't Stand the Heat...
-Judging My Heart / Don't Judge My Heart
-Made with Love
-Into the Frying Pan
-Out of the Frying Pan, into the Fire
-A Pinch of Love and a Dash of Desire. (Or, since this is a series, it could be a Pinch of Love and the next book could be a Dash of Desire, except I am not as fond of a Pinch of Love as I am a Dash of Desire.)
-Seasoned with Love
-What's Cookin'?

Anything else?

Edit: Got my new Title: A Dash of Desire.

I also loved Can't Take the Heat and Kiss the Chef. I may change it again at some point, but for this contest it's Dash of Desire:)

Vote People!

My dh and I took our ballots and the voters phamplets to Shari's on Sunday night to make our decisions. My son was a bit upset at that. He's been helping us to vote for years, ever since Oregon went ot a vote by mail system. And yes, he often knows more about the issues than we do. We never get our ballots done in time to actually put them in the mail so we drop them off at a ballot box. We did end up calling the fisher boy to ask who we should vote for for city council. He was in the youth council and knows most of the candidates personally.

I've been taking my kids to the polls with me since they were tiny. My MIL used to work the polls so we would visit her once in a while. Once, my dh and I couldn't make up our minds on who to vote for for governer in the primaries and my son kept telling us who it should be. We called the campaign headquarters for each one, asked a few key questions and, by golly, the kid was right. I told the campaign worker that and she invited us to the ball that night to hear the results. Dh had to work, but the children and I went. What a fabulous experience. By some miracle, our guy won and the energy in that room was amazing. Better yet, my in laws saw us on TV yelling and screaming. Joyful moment. Tonight, I have a board meeting so we can't go... I just hope it's short so we can see the results come in.

I love this part of the democratic process. I was the girl who used to take voter registration cards to parties in the eighties. How weird is that?

Funerals

No, I didn't attend a funeral this weekend. But for some reason I keep thinking of my Dad's funeral. Not my real dad mind you, my biological dad. The weirdness of it. Because that funeral was damn weird.

Hard to explain, but let me try. Cause I am just in that sort of mood. My mom had a boyfriend and then they had me. Roommate stole boyfriend and had halfsister. Mom got pissed and married room mate's dad. (Single white female has nothing on this situation!) So I had the privilege of growing up with my halfsisters/step neice's grandfather as my stepdad... but I didn't know that at the time. He was just dad. Got that? No, we are not from the hills of the south. This took place in Puyallup, Washington.

Of course, I didn't know any of this till I was fifteen, which is just a "fabulous" time to figure it out.

Fast forward 37 years. Mom leaves 85-year-old dad for biological father. Biological father gets lung cancer. (No, mom has not been overly lucky in her life) and I am attending bio fathers funeral.

Turns out the man I knew all my life as sort of a Brother in law/Uncle figure is one of the town drunks and led quite an interesting life. I have intoxicated people I don't know patting me and calling me Terrah Jean. Who the F*%# is Terrah Jean? Oh, that's me. Then there is all the drama on who is going to sit where, who should sit in front? "So and So shouldn't sit in front, she wasn't his wife, he met her first though, and look, there's Terrah Jean! Oh, little Terra Jean! Oh my, she's grown."

I ignored my mother's furious eye signals that I should sit up front with her. I wanted to stand near the back. By the exit. My half sisters had the same idea and we all stood together. Wearing sunglasses. They're the only people I know. And they called me Teri.

Then a white van pulls up. Two armed gentlemen get out and open the passenger door. A guy in a bright orange prison jumpsuit hops out. I watch, mouth open as he comes and stand next to us. The guards are there too. My teen daughter, who had the unfortunate luck to lose the coin toss and had to come with me, whispers. " Um, Mommie?"

"Yes, dear?"I answer.

"Who's the convict, Mommie? And why is he standing with us?"

"I don't know, dear." By this time I just wanted a great big huge drink. Straight up. On the rocks.

One of my half sisters leaned over to us. "That's our brother," she whispers. "Gary Junior."

I lean over to my daughter with a crazed smile. "That's your uncle, dear. Garah Junior."

I will have to talk about the wake some other time. The wake in which I actually began to believe that my name was indeed Terrah Jean, and I meet cousins that I not only didn't know that I had, but I didn't want to know, period and where my lecherous, drunken uncle gave my daughter a vintage VW painted like a Lady Bug.

Is it weird to look back on a funeral and giggle? I'm sorry that he died, but the whole bizarro experience was, well, sort of humorous.

Friday Already?

How did it get to be Friday already? Thank God it's Friday doesn't work for me. Here's why:

• The publishing world goes home for the weekend. How dare they? Don't they know they should be reading/buying my books on Friday? Doesn't my agent know I am dying for news? On my new idea, on passes, etc? They want weekends off? The editors want time with their families? WTF?
• I have to see how much I accomplished on my weekly to do list. Most of the time I don't do too badly. This week, I didn't accomplish that much. Oh, a few things here and there, but honestly? It was one of those weeks where I don't really keep track of what I did. Started out with good intentions, but you've heard the old adage, the road to .... yeah.
• I am exhausted by Friday night. Too many early mornings in a row, but Friday night is the ultimate in a driving and staying up night as my teens roam the ends of the earth... and want me to drive them there.
• Fridays mean one more mail day before I have to wait till Monday for a check. I usually get my check on Fridays, sometimes Saturdays and sometimes Mondays. I hate Sundays. When I get paid on Friday it's like a fiesta around here cause the kids know I'll slip them a little extra money for the weekend frolicking. I usually don't cook on payday Fridays. When I don't get a check, a little hope goes out the window.
• Friday means one more week that "my sure to sell" book hasn't sold.

Too Busy for Words

Or too busy with words, to be exact. Have several articles on my plate and am too busy polishing HOT for much blogging. Also, still working on that article database, which is taking forever!

I actually like being busy with work... It means I'm being productive. Moving forward. As much as we bitch about deadlines, it still means we have work. Which is a very good thing in the writing world!

Anyone else feel like this?

Close Calls

I spent most of yesterday in the hospital. My very best friend (the one who I had spent the night with eating and watching chick flicks just a few nights before) called me Sunday night. She was in the emergency room with her hubby. They were thinking appendicitus. Yesterday early, I got another call. It wasn't an appendicitus. She was now in ICU. It was diverticulitus and they had almost lost him during the night. He was going in for emergency surgery. I threw on my clothes and left a list for my own dh telling him who had to be where when and then I jetted over to the hospital. I could see her fear. Heck, I could smell it and it matched my own.

What if something happened? What if he didn't make it through the surgery? Her son is 16 and daughter 13. They live in the basement of her FIL's home to help take care of him and the farm. Not to mention losing your life mate of 18 years.

He made it through surgery and the outlook is very good. He should be fine. But no warning, no nothing. You life just changes in an instant. Makes me want to hug everyone.

But I have to tell you, I came home and appreciated the hell out of my husband.

A Weekend of Parties

Went to my best friend's house Friday night. Her family was gone so it was just her and I. She laid out a big spread for us: Hummus, a baguette, veggie tray, crackers, artichoke dip, little spinach and three cheese mixtures in a crusty pocket and tiny chocolate eclairs. We washed it all down with Spanish coffees and margaritas and watched chick flicks all evening. Actually into the wee hours. At two am I finally called it... I was just three hours shy of being up for 24 hours and I am just too bloody old for that.

Last night, the kids and I went to a Halloween party. Much fun and frolicking. It was a family party so got to visit with relatives. Poor dh couldn't go. He had to work, but the rest of us had a blast.

A very cool thing is that I finished the OTE proposal and sent it off. Not sure if it will do any good, but hey, I finished it.

A Daunting Task

I have written several hundred articles in the past 7 years. I've always thought it was stupid to have them just sitting there, not doing anything. I also haven't kept very good track of them. So I came up with a cover letter to send out to regional magazines offering them my backlog. I then gave them the topics that I generally cover and told them to contact me for a list of titles under the topic they are interested in.

Now I have to get a list of all those titles together and make sure the document is in the right folder. Theres a couple of problems with this.

1. I don't have all my work. Basically, I've just put them in a general folder along with interviews, etc. Some were misplaced and while I've tried to keep a link to the online copy of everything, I know I have missed a bunch.
2. I've changed computers a couple of times. Of course, I saved them on floppys, but some of my floppys won't open.
3. The names I have on my doc.s don't match the title they were published under. I am not a good title person. I let my talented editors come up with that. For instances, my doc says Children's Carseats. The actual title it's finally published under says, Oops Don't do it Again: Everything you Need to Know About Buying, Installing and Using Carseats Correctly. Chances are that will sell better than children's carseats... so I have to go through the iParenting's entire online archive and try to match my docs to the online names and gather the ones I missed. Right now, I am just saving the links, but eventually I will want to copy and paste all my missing articles into my now neatly organized folders.
4. Can we say tedious?

In other news, I have two crits back on my proposal. Well done! I still have some stuff to work on to address the editor's concerns. One of my main problems is the characterization of my main character. Unfortunately, she is most like the actual girls I know. She pretty much has everything. Lots of money, parents who adore her, looks and friends...plus being a fab figure skater. 90 percent of the figure skaters I know are just like her. So I gave her parents who are breaking up to give her more sympathy. her perfect world isn't so perfect anymore, but that doesn't come across in the manuscript... So I am going to go over it again and see what I can do.

The thing is... Okay, let's see if I can explain this... I think she is the one teen girls will like better, because they want what she has. She has the name brand clothes, the cute car, the hockey guys all over her. They will want to be her. As adults... we will like the other girl better because we will sympathize more with her... she's had to fight and claw her way up and is determined. As adults, we know she has more character. I didn't make the rich girl a bitch and have the poor girl be the good one. That's cliche. They can both be bitches, but they both have good things about them too. They have a visceral reaction to one another that leads them to see the same events from very different viewpoints. So that is my delimma. Sigh. I just have to find a way to get that across early. Okay, enough complaining... I will just have to find a way to make the rich girl more sympathetic... Or maybe just understand her motivations better.

Got my help!

You guys are awesome:) My agent sistah and friend, Stephanie Hale, and my recently agented fellow Oregonian, Elisabeth Naughten took on the daunting task of checking over my fevered attmpts at revisions.

I spent the last two days pouring over the first three chapters. When I say days, I mean the entire day... from 5:30 am till about 10:00 at night with barely any breaks for eating or driving kids. The manuscript is better... I think. Hard to tell after looking at it that long. I think I did what the editor wanted. I just hope it's still coherent whole with all the changes. I am a better writer now. My voice is more developed and I hope that came across. I refuse to get my hopes up, though. What ever happens will happen.

Better run and catch up on my nonfiction.

Need help

Here's the gig.

I got word yesterday that the editor who said she would love to see On the Edge again if I revised it, would still love to see it. (she originally gave me the R in April so we wanted to see if she was still interested) Now, this is a long shot, but I am willing to revise the first three chapters with one eye on her comments. She had quite a few, so she was at least somewhat invested in the book. But, honestly, it's the last shot my little skate book has.

So here's where you all come in. I want a few professional writers to go over the proposal with one eye on the comments and do a critique. I am not going to use the Cp's who had already gone over it when I was writing it and my fav CP is swamped with work this week. At this point, I have one chapter done.

I usually frown on doing this sort of thing in a public forum, but feel pretty comfortable with most of you... also, my agent already has it, many editors have already looked at it, so I am pretty much not worried about someone stealing my work.

So anyone game at checking out a few chapters of a young adult skate novel? One at a time? I'd be so, so appreciative. Just send me an email at diddymon@verizon.net.

Thanks!

Things I Look Forward to This Week

NO! I did not get an offer! The title was things I look forward to this week, not things that have happened! Trust me. I would be a little bit more open if I did:) I winked because I am not a big believer in Karma, though my agent did tell me I should enter the GH because as soon as I commit fifty bucks.... Something will happen to make me forfeit it:)

So, no, Don't get your undies in a bundle. No offer.

1. A short to do list that includes, two articles, prep for two more articles, revising chapter three as it comes in from my Cp's, and developing ideas I have for three more YA's.
2. Enjoying the front yard that my dh and I finally got cleaned up yesterday.
3. Getting a check from my main client.
4. My children being in school.
5. Finishing up Cherry Adair's, Edge Of Danger.
6. Taking a whole bunch of stuff to the dump!
7. A sleepover this Friday Night where I will descend upon my best friend's home and inbibe margaritas and watch as many Sex in the City episodes as we can. (her family is gone)
8. A Halloween costume party Saturday night that my teens can go to.
9. Finally getting a call from my agent telling me that I had an offer on my book. (that's just thrown out there for good karma;)

Pros and Cons of My Day

Pro: The conferences went great and the ice princess is doing very well in school.
Con: My dh woke me up at 3:50 am and I couldn't get back to sleep.
Pro: I did get a lot done this morning including the article from hell.
Con: To finish the article from hell, I had to call Scotland. Twice.
Pro: I am right on track for making as much money in one month as I have ever made.
Con: ON THE EDGE is officially dead after I got a rejection yesterday. Unless the editor who wanted me to make massive edits will look at it again.
Pro: LIPS is still alive.
Con: It hasn't sold yet.
Pro: I finished the proposal for HOT
Con: It took me five months to write three chapters! (but the foster kids came so it was understandable.)
Pro: The foster kids don't live here anymore.
Pro: The foster kids don't live here anymore.
Pro: The foster kids don't live here anymore.

Can anyone be a writer?

Been having an interesting discussion on muses on a couple of my lists. Since I just posted about my muse, I thought this a funny coincidence. What I also think is funny is how passionate people are against the whole muse concept. "Writer's use it as an excuse," is on opinion. Another is that "we need to look at writing as a job." Okay, I get that, but personally, I have never met a writer who used the muse as an excuse not to write. At least not a real writer. I don't take my muse seriously... My muse is simply what I call getting into the zone. The inspired part of writing creatively. She is another part of me. Sometimes I get into the zone, other times I don't. When I am in the zone, the writing is easy and seems to flow... that is what I call my muse helping me. When I'm not, I still write, it's just more difficult. And something came up during these conversations... someone said, "anyone can be a writer."

So can anyone be a writer? I think this concept comes from a society that tells our children that they can be anything they want to be. Anything they set their mind to. There are people who believe that children are born blank. Clean slates. What is this? A leftover from Roussou? (sorry, I know I slaughtered his name, but am too lazy to go look it up) That children are born naturally good and the world corrupts them?

I don't buy it. Children are born with personalities. I know. I had two. Not enough for a clinical trial, but there you go. I do believe that environment helps to mold them.. for instance, fisher boy can be aggressive, defiant, and contentious. In a different, less stable home, he would probably be more of those things. In a more patient home, he might be less, but they would never completely go away, because that rebellious trait is a part of who he is. ( I know, he got it from his mommy:) genetics do play a part in who we are.

So, if we are all born with certain personality traits, it isn't a far stretch to believe we are all born with certain aptitudes. Of course, not everyone finds out what that aptitude is, but I think we all have them. Different types of intelligence. Different perceptions on our world. So can anyone be president? I don't think so. Being a polititian requires certain personality traits, such as intuition, a love of being with people all the time, and the ability to think quickly on your feet(okay, no GW jokes here! LOL) Not everyone has or can develop those traits... even if they wanted to. Now, I think desire goes a long ways, but I don't think desire alone can change someone into someting they are not.

So can anyone be a writer? I don't think so. What does it take to be a writer? Love of words, of course, the ability to be your own boss, the ability to self motivate, the ability to live with no guarantees, (a huge stumbling block for a lot of people) the ability to take rejection, the ability to be alone a good deal of the time and of course, the ability to write in a clear and cohesive manner. I actually think that the ability to communicate by writing is the easiest of those to learn if you wanted to be a writer. Set rules, guidelines, etc. The imagination to come up with a well thought out plot, is a different thing. Some people have little or no imaginations.

So, no, I don't think that just anyone can be a writer. Just like I could never be a mathmatician... even if I wanted to, which I don't.

What do you think? Can anyone be a writer?

Hump Day (giggle)

Is the term hump day funny or am I just immature?

I've finished four things on my list and one of those was (drum roll please) finishing chapter three of Hot. My muse forgave me when she saw I was serious and came back to help. I admit that most of it is crap. But some of it is actually pretty good. One part, one line actually, was so good that I felt the heroine's reaction to the hero saying that line. I internalized it and tried to get down what I was feeling. Her physical reaction to hearing the line, what she would feel, pysically. Good stuff. Now I have to try to revise it and get it out to my CP's. Not easy because I have a gazillion nonfiction things to do.

Oh, I have teacher conferences this week for my highschooler. Um yeah. Never been. Never wanted to go. Since she and I go over homework all the time, I have a pretty good idea of how much she's learned. Should I tell them I really don't care about grades? I care about her education? Should I tell them she has never been to school, isn't much into acadamia and would far rather be doing something physical? Should I tell them I brought in a specialist when she was eleven and she was diagnosed with Dyslexia? Should I tell the Spanish teacher that 200 words in five weeks is too many and my daughter will never learn Spanish that way? Does the teacher care about her students learning Spanish or does she only care about getting through the packet? Should I tell them how I really feel about the currant state of public education? Um no, probably not. Once a rebel always a rebel.

At any rate, I am incredibly proud of her. She has never been to school. Never had a lab science class. Never had to rush from one classroom to the next or ask to go to the bathroom. Never had to juggle quite so much and she is doing it. She's always had a lot on her plate, but school is totally foreign to her. She's made some good friends, but really holds herself away from the drama. She had enough drama at the rink and thinks most of the kids in school are immature.

Can you tell I am proud of her?

This Week's To Do

I decided to call it this week's to do rather than Monday's to do because people thought I had all that stuff to do on Monday instead of giving myself the entire week. Not that this week isn't packed. I am on a mission to make more money this month than I ever have so I have a ton of things to do to make that happen. I am pretty packed. Plus I really, really want to get the HOT proposal off to my agent. I have been working on it forever. Really, how long does it take one writer to write three chapters?!

Without further ado... This week's to do

Do more research for Goodnites Round Up
Write Goodnites Round Up
Get expert source for Adoption Medicine
Get anecdotal source for Running Interference
Get expert source for Running Interference
Get anecdotal source for Breastfeeding Journal
Get expert sources for Breastfeeding Journal
Get expert sources for Fertility Journal
Get anecdotal Sources for Fertility Journal
Write Adoption Medicine
Finish chapter three in HOT
Revise chapter three HOT
Revise synopsis for HOT

My Muse is Mad at Me

Iv'e tried to talk to her on several occasions. She ignores me. Every page of chapter three of HOT is torture and I know why.

The past couple of weeks has been spent in a flurry of nonfiction madness. I finished four articles this week. Four. But I don't need my muse for nonfiction, so whenever I try to work on HOT she completely disdains me. I try to lure her back with promises of roses, chocolates, and undying devotion, but she no longer believes my promises.

She merely raises an eyebrow and turns her back on me. She has pronounced me fickle.

She obviously doesn't have a mortgage payment.

I should threaten her with Nano. That would get her back. Last time I did that we both worked overtime and she nearly went mad. But it did bring us closer together.

Oddly enough, I have never put it together that the more I write fiction the more comfortable and compliant she is. When I let other things get in the way, she goes on vacation.

So I am going to go plod away on this chapter without her. And we all know how difficult that is.

Lost in Nonfiction World

I probably won't get to work on HOT at all this week. Since I posted Mondays to do list, I have received six article assignments, all but one due this month.

On a brighter note, I recieved my first check f0r fiction writing last night. The certificate and check for winning third place in the Pasic BOYH contest came yesterday. And the awesome thing about that is that my first check for nonfiction was seven years ago and you guessed it, it was $25 dollars too.

Must be a sign! Right?

Uber Mommies

Hi, My name is Teri and I am an uber Mommy.

Hi Teri

My Story:

I didn't know I was going to be an uber Mommy. When they placed that first little bundle into my arms I thought, "Oh my Gawd, Robin Williams is right. He does look like a little old man dipped in 30 weight."

I was bewildered, befuddled and bothered by young motherhood. I was bewildered cause I didn't know it was going to be so damn hard, befuddled from lack of sleep and bothered because no one had bothered to tell me what it was like. I was also bothered because five months into it and I was preggers again. I hadn't even gotten used to the first one, let alone another one!

The second time they handed me a little bundle I thought, "Oh my gawd, another one. I am never sleeping again."

I was right.

So there I was, a young mother much more prepared to be a hippie stoner chick than a mom.

Then it hit me. I was a mom. I had no idea how to be a mom because my own Mom is... kinda flaky. So I went to school to be a mom and enrolled in an early childhood education program at the local community college.

And that was just the beginning. From tactile games to acting out books, I spent every waking hour "developing" my kids. I read everything I could get my hands on concerning nutrition, development, and education. I chose to homeschool them. Each stage they were in had its corresponding books to read. I carted them to swimming lessons, gymnastic lessons, museums, fieldtrips, and minitrips. We went on picnics and nature walks so they would be attuned to nature, I bought them pets so they would be responsible, dress up clothes so they would be imaginative. I got them involved in sports so they would be fair and know how to work in a group. We threw parties so they wouldn't go party somewhere else.

I became an uber mother with an eye on the prize... two functioning responbsible adults who live outside my home, so I can enjoy a guilt free retirement.

I (pant) Am (gasp) Almost. (heave) There. (gulp)

Mondays

I read once on a sign-Mondays are a horrible way to spend 1/7th of your life.

I think I'd have to disagree with that. Mondays are like the first day of school... A fresh start, almost like a do over. I used to love the first day of school... and I pretty much hated school. But the first day was a fresh start full of new possibilities. I always thought that this year would be different. This year, I would be pretty and popular and studious. I was a smart kid, but something about going and picking up office supplies always made me think that things would change. They never did. I was still the bright rebel who would skip school to go to the canyon to read and smoke. But the possibility for change existed and that was enough for me.

Mondays are like that for me now, only I really have changed and found all the things I was looking for (and NEVER found in school), purpose, self discipline, ambition, fulfillment. Because I love what I do for a living, I love getting started again. I know I can write on the weekends, but the publishing world doesn't, so I can't expect word from my agent or a new editor. (My regular editors often work on the weekends) I don't get any publishing news on the weekends and am usually so busy running around or spending the time with the family that I don't really get a lot of things crossed off my weekly lists. Opening up my computer on Monday mornings is like shopping for school supplies; it holds some promise of bright things to come. This week, I could hear from my agent. This week, I could get an interesting assignment. This week, I could land a fascinating writing job or find a new market. Even if it turns out to be fairly humdrum, that doesn't change the shiny freshness that is Monday.

Mondays to do list

Find anecdotal sources for Leukorrhea
Find Anecdotal sources of Exercise Baby
Finish chapter three on HOT
Call Angel Source and get interview
Get sources for Goodnites Round Up
Find Sources for Breastfeeding Journal
Find Sources for Fertility Journal
Write Angel Profile
Write Fertility Journal
Send proposal to agent
start preliminary plotting on FAT

A Starbucks Conversation

This post is dedicated to my dearest, bestest friend in the whole wide world. She knows who she is and will take this in the spirit in which it was intended.

Starbucks CEO: I'm sorry Mr Shareholder, but we won't be able to open the 40,000 new Starbucks around the world that we'd planned to open.

Mr. Shareholder: (worried) Why not? Is there a down turn in the market? Have people switched to drinking tea? Do you know how many people are depending on this?

Starbucks CEO: I know, but it turns out we are too successful. People think we should scale back, not be as successful. They have decided we are a monstrous octopus putting little neighborhood coffee places out of business.

Mr. Sharholder: (Confused) But isn't that how capitalism works? if you are successful you grow and if you aren't you go out of business? Didn't we start as a small neighborhood coffee shop in Seattle in 1971? Has the government decided to change? Put controls on how large a corporation should grow?

Starbucks CEO: No the government hasn't changed. And yeah, we did start out like all the other little corner coffee shops, and we grew because we were smart and savvy, but now that we're a giant corporation we're getting smacked for our success.

Mr. Shareholder: But haven't we done some great things with our success? Aren't we on Fortune Magazine's Best Companies to work for? Didn't we make the list of Best Corporate Citizens?

Starbucks CEO: Well, yes. And besides the hundreds of thousands of people we give jobs to, we have started numurous foundations for commmunity giving, including the Make Your Mark program where we match employees volunteer hours with money, Money for Parks and City Arts programs, the Ethos clean water program for third world countries, and countless other community programs. That doesn't include the support we are now giving to the coffee growing communities.

Mr. Shareholder: Then what's the problem? We're not only successful, but we give millions of dollars away to nonprofits and community programs. Can the little neighborhood coffee houses do that?

Starbucks CEO: No... I think they can only employ just a handful of employees. They do have floats in local parades though. We can't do that. We're too busy giving people a nice meeting place so they can get together to work, hold bible studies, have family talks, dicuss books and education and a gazillion other things and basically to hang out. Before we were around, going out to coffee meant Shari's or Denny's. And you know how good the coffee was there!

Mr. Sharholder: (Shuddering)Yeah. Plus, at those little coffee shops you never know if you are going to get a fantastic cup of coffee or the worst crap you've ever tasted. At least we have quality control. So why shouldn't we open 40,000 more stores? We are in business to make money, right? Isn't that what businesses are supposed to do?

Starbucks CEO: You're right. Free enterprize and all that. Viva Le Coffee!

Moving right along!

I polished up chapter two, which is now done and am working on chapter three. It's going pretty well, much better than two did. I would love to be able to work on this over the weekend and send it out next week, but mom is having a stint put in and I have to go babysit dad while she's in the hospital. So another 400 miles drive for moi. I'm taking the ice princess with me again as fisher boy has too much homework to do.

I wish I were going to Emerald City conference to meet and greet with friends and fellow authors. Now that would be a weekend to look forward to.

Must get an article done and pick up my glasses before I go. Yep, I'm old. I need glasses. They told me I was right on the borderline of needing bifocals, but I said no. I have heard of too many people's sight really getting messed up because of bifocals.

HELP!

Looking for someone who is young, (under 45) active and deals with incontinence on a regular basis. Please contact me off list at diddymon@verizon.net if you know of someone who may be interested.
Thanks!

The Alpha Male

Since I'm in the middle of a traditional romance, I have been giving a lot of thought to the Alpha male. My hero is a chef... but he can still be an alpha male, can't he? What makes up an alpha male? Strength? Intelligence? Height? Forcefulness? Decisivness? What other character attributes make up the kind of alpha male that make women crazy with desire and longing?

You see, I'm not married to an alpha male. My hubby is short and balding. In fact, he's been balding for as long as I've known him at age 24. He likes to say he didn't get any hair until he was 13 and started losing it at 17. My male is funny. And silly. Likes to make up crude little jingles. He's very emotional and gets teary eyed over sappy commercials. He's more of a little banty rooster, all crow and no bite. He does have some awesome character traits, though. His absolute devotion to his family. An incredible work ethic. (My male does ALL the laundry, for crying out loud!) My car always runs, the bills are always paid, the refrigerator always full of food, (Yes, he does 95% of the grocery shopping, too) the wood shed always full by fall, the animals always healthy because he puts on their flea medicine, makes their vet appointments, etc. He makes my coffee every night so it's hot and fresh when I wake up in the morning. Plus, he works fifty to sixty hours a week. And fishes with his son, goes to the mall to shop with his daughter and takes me out for starbucks or drinks. And yes, he makes me tired. And no, you can't have him.

But he's definitely not an alpha male. I am too much of an alpha female to be really happy with a in your face, forceful kind of guy. (Though my hubby is sort of in your face... he is very hyper!)So my heros end up being a bit blah... because in my mind a real hero is the guy who sticks around for the not so happily ever after part. It's what they do after the sun sets.

So what kind of character attributes is an alpha male supposed to have? Who is your favorite alpha male?

What's the Difference?

Between a writer who will make it and a writer who won't?

I've thought about that a lot lately because I heard from an old cyber friend who hasn't made it. I haven't spoken to her in years, but she was one of my first writer friends in the business. I heard from another friend several months ago who was my first writing mentor many years ago. These women haven't made it. Haven't gone any further in their writing than when I first knew them. Why?

I am defining someone who has made it as someone who has achieved financial goals. (very narrow, I know, but this is nonfiction) For instance, I wanted to make a decent living writing part time. I've done that and consider myself a success even though it takes full time writing to make a part time wage But this is mostly because I work on fiction part time, as well, and I haven't sold a book yet which would add considerably to my yearly income.

I have two other dear, long term cyber friends. Both wanted to be full time freelance writers. One kind of fell by the wayside and chose a different direction. Very talented woman, but something about a freelancer's life didn't agree with her, so she zigged when she could have zagged. My other writer friend quit her job and within a year was making more money a month than she ever had working.

What's the difference between those who make it and those who don't? I've been writing professionally for about seven years now and have seen a lot of writers come and go. I have also seen those who keep at it and end up making it. Why did I "make it?" I have very little formal education and have faced tons of adversity, including a husband who was less than enthusiastic at the beginning. Now, every writer is different, but there are a few common attributes in writers who have made it.

• Desire. A burning desire. These people don't just want to see their own book or article, they want to write. To see their words develop on the page and then see the finished product with their name on it.
• Stubborness. As in teeth gritted, knock me down and I'll get up EVERY DAMN TIME kind of stubborness. Blind, irrational, hard headedness.
• Willingness to learn and diversify. Learning is hard. But in order to make it in this business you have to continue to learn and strive. You also have to be willing to diversify. My one friend who is making so much money has diversified. She is editing, writing for trade magazines and writing books.
• Know your limitations. I would never be able to work as a copy writer because it would bore me to tears. I can write on many topics, but don't ask me to do technical writing. I could never write science fiction either. Don't go down a road you know you really don't want to go down. It will show in your work.
• A thick skin. I am working on this. I whine and moan on occasion. But I don't let the rejections or disappointments stop me. See above on stubborness and desire.

What other attributes do you see in writers who have made it?

Writing Rules and Regulations

I've been thinking of writing's rules and regulations a lot. Maybe because of my backstory problems with HOT. I've read somewhere (And I can't remember where) That one thing the RWA has done a good job at is spreading the rules of writing so well that editors are getting perfectly done books with no life to them. Now, they don't spread these rules themselves, but the local chapters where workshops are held, critique groups are formed, etc, have done a good job at getting the rules out.

Don't get me wrong... I love my Cp's. They are fabulous. But we do seem pretty hung up on the rules of writing. Let's take backstory first. This is one of those rules that every critique group knows about. Backstory, even a couple of paragraphs, slows the pacing down. Where is it written that stories have to shoot out of a cannon and not slow until the bang up finish? Whatever happpened to the slow build up of a book? I just reread Scruples by Judith Krantz. This was her first book, or her first blockbuster at least, and I have reread it so many times I've memorized parts of it. Almost EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER INTRODUCED has backstory. Fascinating, interesting, backstory. Even if the character is minor to the book.

Then there is POV. A one sentence POV shift, one that reveals more about the characters or story, is caught and reviled. But Nora Roberts does it all the time. Even in a single scene, the headhopping can make my own head spin. Now, I understand, Nora can get away with stuff others can't, but oftentimes, she makes it work.

Adverbs. I have taken to noting adverbs when I read, probably because they are such, gasp, no no's. Almost every book I have ever read has an -ly word at some point. I did read one romance that had so many it was frustrating, but that was also paired with stiff dialog and clunky prose. Maddening. But if we're supposed to write tight and an -ly word can take the place of an eight word description... what's the harm? Over use? Yeah. I can see that. But sometimes, it seems to me that an -ly word is the best word for the job.

Distancing with a "he asked himself" Okay, the idea when you are in deep POV is that the internals don't need to be underlines because they are pretty much always internals right? (If I'm wrong here please let me know) But tons of books use this on occasion. Sometimes it does seem right.

Never, if ever, use the word was. It's passive. I can't tell you the literary acrobatics I've done to keep from using was in a sentence. Again, this is a word I see all over other books. Do they not know you aren't supposed to use was? Am I taking these rules to literally?

Again, I am posting the disclaimer... this has nothing to do with my own Cp's who are very astute and usually right on the money. I do the same thing when I judge for contests. But are we doing the world a favor by maintaining such strict writing rules and regulations? Or was we paving the way for a bunch of books that are written strangely alike?

Another disclaimer, I am as yet unpublished... maybe there's a reason for that:)

Working

I think I'm finally getting the hang of my new schedule. My son will start carpooling with another college student next week, so I will get some relief from the to and fro school gig. So things are definitely looking up.

Except of course, I have to get up at 5:40 am. That's not so good. But I have about an hour and 30 minutes before I have to have the ice princess to school and I use that time to wake up, check my email, check a few blogs and figure out what has to be done for the day.

At 7:10 I take ice princess to school and stop at the gym on my way home. Fisher boy isn't awake yet and I usually workout for about an hour.

Get home, wake up the boy and start on working. I usually grab an instant breakfast that can be slurrped while I work. This is my favorite time of the day. The DH is still in bed(he doesn't get home until about 3am, sometimes later) and the boy is usually finishing up some homework, so we sit and work quietly, sometimes talking about what we are doing and sometimes just sitting together companionably. It's nice. Warm.

At 11:30 we break for lunch and he gets his work together for college.

At 12:15 I run him up to the college and come home to wake up the dh. Or sometimes, like I'm going to today, I run over to the highschool and take the ice princess some lunch and we sit in the car and talk about her day while she scarfs.

I get home about 1:20 and chat with the dh while he gets ready for work and I clean house. I also try to work a bit, but it depends on how talkative he is! LOL

I go get the ice princess at 2:40, about the same time the DH takes off for work. We come home, watch part of my soap and we talk until she starts school around 4.


Then I go get the fisher boy around 4:20. Come home make dinner and we all work until TV comes on or they have somewhere they have to be. I like it when they don't have to go anywhere... then I kick back and try to fit a chore or two in before I have to help with homework.
Then reading until I fall asleep between ten and eleven. It will be really nice when I don't have to take the boy to school!

But I seem to get a lot of work done in that time. Not so much on the house... I told my son today that our house isn't cluttered... its dirty! I like the new schedule because I get a lot of alone time with most everybody. Nice.

Letting Go

I've been thinking a lot about letting go lately. My son's first day of college was last Monday. He's in a program where he will earn college credit as he finishes his high school diploma. Great program. They want all their kids to be a success so they get lots of support. With the ice princess in high school that means I have no children at home to homeschool, so in a blink of an eye, I am done being a homeschooling mom, an identity I have had for the last 12 years or so.

I loved being a homeschooling mom. I watched as my children learned to read and understand the basic concepts of math. (turns out that was all I could teach them!)While other moms put their kid on the bus for the first time, my children and I snuggled up in the bed to read some books. I was a homeschool Mom and my life was good. (This is about writing, I promise)

About halfway through my journey, I discovered the Internet and a way to make my long dormant dreams of becoming a writer true. I threw myself into writing with a passion. I had always written, but the Internet allowed me to rub virtual elbows with other writers and learn about the business and when I chose to write, I wrote about homeschooling. I wrote essays for homeschooling magazines and hit upon a column or two. Soon, I had a book out. As my children grew, I branched out and wrote of other things. When my next book was in process, I decided to make it for all moms and Day Tripping was born.

You can't be a writer and not learn how to let go. Ideas and articles are rejected, magazines and markets fold. Books don't sell. The letting go process should get easier, but it doesn't. When I scored my agent, a couple months shy of a year ago, I thought I would be a published author by now. It didn't happen and I find myself having to let go of On the Edge and the Rink Rats series. No, it's not completely dead, but its getting there. LIPS went out almost three weeks ago and it still hasn't sold yet. I know, it usually takes longer than that, but so many of my friends sold within a couple of weeks of their manuscript going out that I just assumed... It's good, better than anything I've written. But it's time I let go of the idea that LIPS would sell right out of the starting block.

I look down the road and I only have a few more years until my children are both gone. Even as I've had to let go of being a homeschooling mom, I will have to let go of being active mom... the one in control. But I'll always be a mom. Just like I will always be a writer... even if I have to let go of manuscripts, I will always be a writer.

Monday's To Do, Plotting and Other Issues

Yes, plotting revisited. After Cherry Adair's workshop, I had some big ideas concerning plotting and planning the novel. I went out and bought a bunch of brightly colored post its, a cork board and a poster board. It's still all sitting there waiting for me to complete. I want to do it... I'm just... stalled. Read a great post over on Diana Peterfreund's blog about plotting and am ready to go... except I'm not. I understand the concepts, it's the actual act that gets me. Plus, I need to go back and rewrite chapter two of HOT because my hero's motivation doesn't show through and my Cp's believe there is too much backstory. Okay... I can see how the suggestions might be true. So I'll play with it for a bit. How much do you plot? Usually, I just make a few chapter notes on index cards and go to it, but I get to the middle and stall that way too, so I'm trying something different.

I had a heck of an evening yesterday. Could have sworn it was Monday morning not Sunday night. First, one of my fav editors has left her job. Not sure why. Heard from the big boss that I should send the articles due to the editor to her. Okay. So I tell her I have been unable to find anyone as an anecdotal source for one of them. Heard back and that was cool. Not ten minutes later, I hear from another anecdotal source that she has decided that she doesn't want her name published. GAH! This is an article the big boss was already looing at so I had to tell her, "Psych! I know I turned it in but I have to rewrite. So sorry." Talk about looking like an idiot.

I could really use some good news this week!

This weeks to do

Send questions to old dads' sources
rewrite potty plan and resend
Finish computer games and submit
Write potty peers
get sources for choline
get old dad's anecdotal sources
write old dads
plot out first five chapters on plotting board
rewrite chapter two of HOT
get started on HOT three
Figure out how writer's support is going to go

All About TV

I have managed to get some of my list whittled away and thought I would take a moment to talk about another passion of mine besides writing. TV.

I admit it, I love TV. I am not one of those people who prefer to listen to classical music rather than watch the soul destroying, mind sucking, boob tube. Not that there is anything wrong with classical music mind you... I often listen to it in my car, but I am a self admited TV freak. I was raised with it and adore it and for the most part my kids do too. Neither one of them has a TV in their bedroom and TV has become a family thing. Something we do together.

Anyways, this is a big week in TV. Season premiers and series premiers galore. This is a list of shows my family and I have already watched or are looking foreward to.

Men in Trees: This got lukewarm reviews, but I loved it anyway. Sort of like Sex in the City meets Northern Exposure. Both two of my favorite shows. And I spend most Fridays sitting at home waiting for a child to call for a pick up so it's something I can watch on a regular basis.

The Biggest Loser: Awesome as always. Except where did Jillian go? And I really felt sorry for all those people who traveled there with hope and then told to go home and do it themselves... we all know how difficult it is to do that!

Gray's Anatomy: Luscious, luscious, luscious. Met every expectation.

Gilmore Girls: They must get rid of Logan this year. Ditch him. I liked Jess and the Dean much better.

Heros: This looks so intriguing! I can't wait to see what they do with it!

Desperate Housewives: Love this show! Don't care if last season wasn't as good as the year before... I still love it.

My Characters

Okay, I was over at Jenna's blog... no, I haven't got her link up... but I'm working on it! Anyway, she has pix up of her characters... who she thinks they resemble and I decided to do the same thing.

So here's Cally. Rachel Bilson isn't a perfect Cally as she looks about 3 years too young, but hey... I procrastinated long enough.

And here's Weston. I know he looks like Heath Ledger, but work with me people!

He could be a chef right? I think he's hot enough!

Now to finish plotting!

Box of goodies!

Got the most fabulous box yesterday! I won the seasons contest put on by Jill Monroe, Crystal Green, Jennifer Scully and Stephanie Fegan. The box was so fun! Lotions, potions, books and doodads. Woohoo! Can't wait to read the books!

In other news, it was MRI day yesterday. Absolutely hate them. They always ask, "Are you claustrophobic?" and I always say, "Well, I wasn't the first six or seven times I did it, but now? A little bit!"

They blew a vein getting the contrast in and then I went through the roof when they finally found another one. GAWD! And after the scan my hubby took me out for Lemon drop martinis. That's my MRI day thing. Good stiff drinks.

Confession

I have a confession to make. I am MS word ignorant. It does all these strange things and makes me nuts. My CP's are always telling me, "one inch all the way around!" WTF? I thought I did! What's the difference between a bloody tab and a margin? How come when I paste in some text from an email it double spaces itself, yet when I go to format/paragraph to fix it, it says that it's single spacing? WHY? And the only way I can get it to do single spacing is to push the space bar in front of the sentence or word and then it crawls across the page and single spaces itself. WHY? Oh, and in one crit I found this little gem in a comment box:

Indent: Left: 0", Right: 0", Automatically adjust right indent when grid is defined, Adjust space between Asian and Latin text, Adjust space between Asian text and numbers, Tabs: Not at 0.5

Well, that's clear as mud. Asian text? WTF? I'm not writing in Asian text. What are they talking about?? Also, when I make a header and enlarge it, sometimes when I move the curser down a few spaces it is 12. font and sometimes it is the same big font as the header? WHY? How come when I do bullet points in one part of the article and then try to do it three paragraphs down, the bullets are in different places? WHY? And how come the margins sometimes change on me when writing? Is it me? Should I take a class? Get a degree in Microsoft word???

Also when I try to paste the stupid article in the body of an email I get a warning that says I don't have Active X enabled and the formatting won't be correct. Sometimes it does that with web pages. What the heck is Active X?

A good weekend and Monday's to do

Went to the Cherry Adair workshop... It was fabulous. It was on layering your plot and I learned tons about plotting. Am going to try some of her methods with HOT. Went out to lunch afterwards. One of my chapter mates insisted that I try a hazlenut mocha martini. OMG... so fabulous. Like a dessert. Then we went to Cherry Adair's book signing at Borders. Mega cool. I have found my RWA membership to be invaluable. Nothing like talking to other writers in person to kick start your mind and imagination. How do you like being a chapter member?

Yesterday, we went to a family birthday and bbq. It was fun, very kicked back and they had good vino. What more can you ask for? Okay, on to the to do list.

Weekly to do

Write games and special needs.
Get anecdotal sources for potty plan.
Check on all expert sources on articles due next week.
Do plotting and research on HOT.
Get sources for vaccine story
Write Vaccine story
Make new articles due list
Pitch a few articles to editor.
Start on chapter three HOT(notice this was left over from last week!)
Send sources their articles
Write Potty Peers
Get info for old dads and Autism
Write Potty Plan

Guess who's going to be on the computer a lot this week!

LIPS IS OUT!

READ MY LIPS is officially out in the hands of editors. Am so excited! Everyone they pitched to wanted to see it and my agent said they were very interested and excited! Cross your fingers for me!

Have a great weekend. My chapter meeting is tomorrow and we have guest novelist Cherry Adair speaking and Theresa Meyers from Blue Moon communications will be there as well. We are all going out to lunch afterwards:)

UPDATE!

READ MY LIPS got third place in the Pasic Book of Your Heart Contest! I placed, I placed:) YAY!

Backstory

I just finished reading an old book by Dame Roberts. I've never read her before and when the dh brought a bax of books home for me, I was quite pleased to see that it included several of Nora Roberts books. The story was sweet and the romance electric. But the headhopping made me dizzy. I guess she can break whatever writing rule she pleases?

But this post isn't about headhopping, it's about back story. As you know, I am working on a category romance, one that I am targeting for HQ's Amercian Romance line. The first chapter is pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. One thing I've noticed about Cats is they have more backstory/internals in them than most other books I've read. They probably have to have more internals, especially, because they have such a short amount of time to invest the reader in the characters lives.

But again this post isn't about internals, it's about backstory. I have a couple of questions. My story is about a chef who enters a cooking competition and one of the judges is the man she loved and jilted six years prior. He doesn't know why she jilted him and I am not letting the reader know for several chapters either. But the backstory is very important to this book. There are times when the heroine, thinks about her choice, wonders whether she did the right thing, etc. How much is too much? A huge part of the conflict between the hero and heroine is because of their former relationship. Now, I elude to it often in brief flicks, but I have a scene that is about a page of the heroine remembering how her family reacted to the news that she was not only running off to get married, she was moving to Italy to study cooking. The family crisis this caused is the reason she never showed up. Again, I elude to the actual event that caused her to jilt the man she loved, but I don't come right out and say it. (I am trying to build a little tension here by leaving the reader in the dark. Of course, the reader will know before the hero does and hopefully by that time they will be thinking, tell him, tell him!)

My question is... how much back story is too much? Keeping in mind that this is category romance, how much will slow the story down too much? I Know the rule is like NEVER. But in reality authors use it all the time. Any opinions on backstory?

An Illicit Deal

"I have a confession to make."

My husband had just woke up and I was lying in bed with him. My stomach tightened. In my experience, no good can come from a conversation that starts out with, "I have a confession to make."

"Mmmhmmm?" Noncomittal.

"I bought something yesterday."

I relaxed a bit. It wasn't one of "those" confessions. But then my mind whirled. He'd been checking out vintage Les Paul guitars on ebay. Had he bought one? We were trying to save up enough money for a trip to Hawaii. Had he blown the trip?

"What's that?" Cautious now.

"I bought an eighth."

I am a child of the eighties. An eighth means only one thing in my book, an indulgence we gave up years ago when we decided to stop partying and raise children. I sat up in bed.

"You what?" Imagine my voice raising five octives on that last word.

"An eighth of coffee."

I lay back down. An eighth of coffee?

"You know my friend Andy? He went and bought a half a pound of coffee and I bought an eighth of it. Amazing coffee. The best coffee in the world. Like incredibly expensive coffee. I felt like I was doing a drug deal."

My brow furrowed. "Just how expensive was it?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes, I do. Just how expensive can it be?"

"Almost 200 a pound."

"What?" (the octive thing again) "That means you spent like 25 dollars or something on an eighth of coffee!"

"Yeah."

"It better be damn good coffee."

It was. Drop dead and die good coffee. Now, I love me some coffee. I drink it black except for my Starbucks, but other than that I am a purist. And this coffee was to die for. Rich, nutty, dark on the tongue, it left an amazing aftertaste that's hard to describe.

But in order for coffee to be worth that much it would have to hop out of my refrigerater, grind itself and leap into my cup fully made.

But that doesn't keep me from enjoying it!

Mondays To Do

Woohoo! My first to do list since the kids left. A sign that things really are getting back to normal. So without further ado... Monday's to do!

Finish revising chapter two in HOT
Finish synopsis for HOT
Write chapter three in HOT
Send out questions for TBI anecdotal sources
Write TBI
Make new files for articles due
Make articles due list
Get sources for Potty Training Plan
Get sources for computer games
Get anecdotal sources for Potty plan
Get anecdotal sources for computer games
Get sources for pneumonia
Get anecdotal sources for pneumonia

What's top priority on your list?

Oops

I did something. Not sure what. But now my browser is showing font the size of Mt. Ranier. I really hate it. I feel like a third grader stuck reading those horrid large print reading books about Jane and Mark when all I really wanted to do was get back to The Yearling or my latest biography on Louisa May Alcott.

Any ideas on how to fix this?

UPDATE: Yeah! All fixed. Thanks Bonnie!

First Day of school

Yeah, I know. Usually the first day of school is Kindergarten or first grade and you are holding the hand of a little gap toothed wonder. Turns out my daughter's first day of school came when she is a lovely, poised fiffteen year old. You see, I chose to homeschool my kids. A choice many more people are making these days.

I remember those years with fondness. Making claypots and learning sign language for our native American studies. Stitching together raccon caps for our study on mountian men. Countless field trips, classes and learning experiences. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Many people choose to homeschool all the way through highschool, but my daughter wanted to go to school. At first, I was opposed, but as I saw her maturing, I knew she was going to be okay. I trust her. So at fifteen, she is heading out. When my son goes to college in a couple of weeks, I will officially be finished homeschooling. That part of my life, a part I enjoyed so much, will be over. It's time to really start letting go. Sniff.

Not quite back in the saddle

Saturday was spent celebrating. Sunday was spent getting ready for a garage sale. Yesterday was garage sale and today, I have an article due.

Yeah, I already contacted editor and begged forgiveness, because today I am heading to the beach with my family... the first time we have been out together all summer. The ice princess goes to school on Thursday, so we are going to go today. I plan on lounging, eating clam chowder and watching my kids. Not because they will eat sand, bug other people or hit each other, but because I love them and never tire of watching them. I am blowing off another board meeting to do it, but I'm not going to let my life get out of hand with commitments again.

Steve Irwin's death really hit my family hard. My sixteen year old son cried for a half an hour when he heard and this kid cries over very little. It wasn't so much that fisher boy loved Steve Irwin, fisher boy wanted to be Steve Irwin. Much of what my son knows about animals he learned watching the Crocodile Hunter. His love of conservationism is due in a large part to watching Steve. No matter what you think of his methods, Steve did a lot to inspire children to want to know more about the natural world. I know my son is not the only young person who grew up watching Steve.I feel for his family.

Oh, I read a book over the weekend. Fantabulous. The Summer House by Jude Deveraux. Wow, is all I have to say. It was my first book by her and I'll be on the lookout for more. The story swept me away so much I couldn't tell you what the writing was like! I know that nothing jarred me out of the story, so it must be pretty good.

Okay, off for the last day of summer!

They're gone!

The wee ones left yesterday to go back with their momma. I didn't know until she showed up if they were going to a interim foster care place or their what. Mom had so many hoops to jump through. She got the apartment and then they said she had to have beds and groceries. But they are with their mom now and I am a happy camper. Both of my children are so happy and grateful. Fisherboy said, "I have my family back!" Ice princess said, "My life is wonderful. I don't ever want to forget that again." In celebration, ice princess and I went and had pedicures, then we dropped back by the house and picked up the boy and went out to dinner. Then we all went to a Tigard High Football game. It was wonderful.

Next week I begin my career anew and no telling what might happen.

Thirteen Hours

I have thirteen hours until the children leave and thought I would pass the time by thinking of all the things having them here has taught me.

• I do not, in any way, shape or form, want another baby.
• I don't think I was cut out to be a mom to little ones.
• That sex leads to poopy, bad smelling, whining, needy, demanding creatures who take over your whole life.
• How good a clean baby smells.
• How close we are as a family
• That sometimes you have to do the right thing even if it hurts.
• Sharpened our negotiation skills.
• That six year olds always have one more thing to say.
• How funny little ones can really be.
• That a two year old can ask you what you are doing fifty trillion times... even if they can see what you are doing.
• That women who can have successful writing careers while wiping noses and making snacks are to be held in awe.

The Odd, Unusual and cool on I84

Had to make an emergency trip up through the Columbia River Gorge yesterday. Came back this morning. Everyone(meaning my parents) is fine, but they needed me, so fisher boy and I made a wild road trip. This is what we saw: (Remember, part of the Gorge is pines and cliffs and the other part is sagebrush and hills, like nothing there for miles, which made our sightings even odder)

• Six airplane wings flying up the freeway on the backs of semi trucks.
• Seven half houses. So does that mean someone is getting a half a house? Or a house and a half?
• A cafe called Spookies. Hmmm.
• Fifty gazillion watermelon stands.
• Fifty gazillion smashed watermelons on the side of the road.
• Two midgets holding hands at a rest stop. Had much fun trying to figure out which vehicle was theirs.
• A guy with a horse trailer almost crash in front of us when an extra strong gust of wind hit us.

Interesting trip.

Four days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September first. They are leaving September first. Need I say more?

Ch Ch Ch Changes?

The changes are coming. I can almost smell them. No, wee one hasn't filled her diaper. Life changes.

Change number one?

Children's services is now eager to get the kids back to their mother. Is this motivation caused by a reluctance to pay childcare? Who knows. But as soon as Mom gets a place the caseworker said she would advocate the kids going back with their Mom. Well, Mom called me today and said she is 90 percent sure she has a place. Have crossed my fingers, legs, toes and eyes. Would appreciate everyone in cyber space doing the same.

Change Number two:

My own lovely ice princess has tired of her ice obsessed life and is going to high school. She has never been to school nor even on the big yellow school bus, but she has decided she wants it. The whole thing. Dance Squad, report cards, track team. Have reservations, but am going to allow her to do so. She can go as long as I don't see any big changes in her behavior and she knows it. I actually think it will be good for her. She doesn't know who she is aside from skating and I think her renewed interest in youth group and school will help her find her direction.

Change number three:

My son will be (knock wood) starting college this year. I can already see the changes in him from his trips this year and am excited for this new chapter of his life.

What this means for me?

More money for one thing. We have been spending thousands of dollars a year on the ice princess. THOUSANDS. I can get a new car. Get my own cell phone. Pay off our bills.

More time. I won't be spending hours and hours a day on the road. Ice princess will take the bus to school. My boy will be driving soon. I will be able to write more. Do some of the things I have been wanting to do. Kick up my writing career a notch or two.

But for right now, I will wait. Make it through each day. Know that this too shall pass.

Yay!

I got five days of child care! I got five days of child care! I didn't mean to play hard ball with them. I told them I couldn't take the kids after the first of September and I got an offer of five days. Funny how that work. They seem to think that Mom is going to get them back fairly soon so I think that is one of the reasons they caved. I just couldn't let my writing career go in the toilet. I worked to hard for it. Plus... I am hella tired. So tomorrow or the next day I will be able to take the munchkins to daycare for the day. Good thing because I started taking assignments again for next month.

My son got back from North Dakota the other day and he had the experience of his life. We only had a few hours to talk after he arrived home(he had a camping trip planned) and he was so excited about his time there. What really struck me was how close his squad had become in such a short period of time. He told me that the parting at the airport was incredibly emotional. I checked out some of their MySpaces and am seeing things like "I left pieces of myself in ND and traded it for memories" "North Dakota changed me forever" "Bravo Company 1-1-1 is my new family" and things like that. These kids are in constant contact with each other and planning a reunion. He made friends from all over the US; Alabama, New York, Texas and Maine. I am so happy for him. Daughter had a blast at camp. She has never been away for that long before and even though she missed us, she was glad to get away and do teen things like tubing behind a jet boat, white water rafting, swimming and hiking. The son joined her there and proceeded to get really sick. I think the airplane ride did him in. So in spite of the wee ones coming to live with us, I think the kids had a decent summer.

No news on the writing front. Finished a couple of articles. Have one more to do before I get started on next months. Didn't get any fiction done though.

Miffed

So much legal mumbo jumbo going on with the kids, I can't even explain it all. Suffice it to say that they are now backpedaling on their offer to give the girls daycare. The conversation went like this:

Caseworker: "I'm not sure about five days a week daycare. We really want the children to be in your home most of the time."

Me: "Are you telling me that you don't certify duel income households, where both people work outside the home?"

Long pause

Caseworker: "Well, yeah, we do. And we often pay childcare for them."

Me: "Then can you tell me what the difference is?"

Another very long, heavy pause.

Caseworker: "I guess there really isn't one."

Me, the light dawning on me. "Just because I work at home, doesn't mean I don't work!"

GAWD! They should see my monthly invoices. June: $2200 July: $1100 August: $550! I work on nonfiction and fiction a total of 35 to 40 hours a week. Or I did. Now I am down to maybe five total weekly hours. FIVE! Do they want to talk to my editors to prove I am a writer and make money? My tax preparer? Or maybe I should have my agent call them from New York?

Just wanted to let you know, fellow writers, that we aren't really working. What we do isn't really a job. It must follow that publishing isn't really a business.

Just to let you all know.

This and That

What to say, what to say?

Kids were gone yesterday. I got started on a couple of the articles I have due this month. If anyone's child contracted roundworms from somewhere or if you take measures to prevent that, I would love to hear from you. Having trouble finding anecdotal sources for that one. Didn't look at any fiction. Took a nap instead.

The boy is in North Dakota this week. I missed his call this morning at 5:30 am. Just couldn't wake myself up enough to run for the phone. The Lewis and Clark Rondezvous sounds amazing. He gets to watch a show called the Medora Musical while eating a big pitchfork fondue banquet. Gets to ride in covered wagons to eat a meal in the Dakota Badlands, float the Missouri River on the Lewis and Clark Riverboat, do a high ropes adventure course, tour Custer's last home, visit Fort Mandan, watch Calvery reenacters and all sorts of amazing things. They chose ten students from every state for an all expenses paid trip, so he will be amongst 500 other students from around the country. He comes in Friday. I miss him horribly. If he wasn't five inches taller than I am, I'd call him mini me. We are pretty tight and he often finishes my sentences for me.

I have read so many books this summer. Funny how that happens. When I'm stressed, I read more. Haven't picked up Diana P.'s book, Secret Society Girl, yet. That's next on my list. I have some more YA to catch up on, as well.

Hark! I hear a baby. She's playing my song again.

On the Home Front

Had the entire weekend to myself. Well, almost. They came and got the kids on Saturday about 2 pm and from then on out it was just me and my kids. My husband had a wedding to attend so the kids and I went to our favorite Chinese food and talked about the situation. The mom went to court on Friday and turns out they want her to do more work. The caseworker called and begged us to keep them for 45 more days. Sigh. We were counting down till September first. This would put it at the end of September. Basically, the boy would be starting first grade and then moving to another school in about two and a half weeks which doesn't make sense to me if they are going to just give them back to mom anyway. There is a family meeting on Wednesday that I want to attend so I can make that point known to them. At any rate, the caseworker asked if we would take them if the state provided childcare for the two girls as well as the boy, (until he starts school) And promised that they would be able to go to Grandpa's place every weekend.

I had mixed results from my kids. My son was okay with it. He figured that if they are gone almost everyday and over the weekends so we can kind of get back to our own lives, he would be able to do it. My daughter was adamantly opposed. She wants them out of the house, like, yesterday.

Then the kids and I went to the book store where we bought a few study books for my daughter and Reality Chick for me. My daughter spent Saturday night with a friend and was taking off for the beach with friends on Sunday and my son took off for North Dakota for a week 4am Sunday morning so it was just me and my dh and the book. Was fabulous. Read it in one sitting. I should have been writing in HOT, but couldn't put the book down. Rounded out the day by running errands with my husband and relaxing.

My daughter takes off on Thursday for camp. Then the boy gets in and we have to bring him home, dust him off, repack and drive him to camp with his friends. But... they are taking the kids again this next weekend so I will have another whole weekend to myself. I promise to write that weekend.

Writing This Time... Promise!

Actually that's a lie. More on reading, which as at least writing related!

The book I picked up was Once Upon Stilettos. Wonderful, fab, can't say enough. I love the concept of these books. Very different and highly entertaining. Her characters are wonderful.

I won a contest and got my prize in the mail a few days ago. Flirting With Forty, by Jane Porter. If you haven't read this book yet, grab it. I lurved it! It really resonated with me, having turned forty last year. It was romantic and introspective and had a lot of very true things to say on being forty, sex and motherhood, as well as dreaming and wanting more. Knowing the inside story added to the charm of the book. Suffice it to say, the author met and fell in love with a surf instructor, much as the heroine in the book did. Her descriptions are wonderful and I wish I could write more like she does. Can you tell I loved this book? I stayed up till one am last night to finish it and, as you know, I really need my sleep. Was so worth it though, except now it's done. Sob.

Okay, Have to get the children in bed. Blessed Bed. So I can write!!!

Oh, my CP loved my first chapter of HOT. YAY. Maybe I can write an adult contemporary!

The pleasures of a good nap

Took a nap today and got a great idea. More proof that sleep tickles the muse. There I was, dreaming about working at starbucks (Even more proof I drink too much coffee,) and a phrase slipped into my brain. I want to have more children.

Now that isn't me, HA! So it had to be a character. A woman. A woman who thinks she wants more children, but what she really wants is a life. So there it is. The kernal that will make the book. Fun stuff. Delightful stuff. The stuff a writer's life is made of. Besides waiting, that it.

Speaking of waiting, I had some good news for OTE. It was requested by another editor. Very excited, but trying not to be. I thought the sucker was almost dead, but apparently, not quite. If that sells as a two book series deal and then LIPS sells with another publisher, that would make me a multi contracted author!

Ahem. Get a grip, Teri.

Spent the day without children, hence the nap. Worked a bit on chapter two of HOT. Spent the rest of the afternoon at a college with my boy taking tests etc. He is trying to get into a program where he can get his highschool diploma and his AA at the same time. Then he can just transfer to a four year college for his last two years. And viola! We get two years of college for free. Keep your fingers crossed. He has two more days of evaluation and then a private interview. We will know by September 11th. You know, just the day Spetember 11th jars me. We will be talking about something and the date comes up, like "You'll get it on September 11th," or, "We're leaving on September eleventh," And my heart stands still. I wonder if that happens to people who lived during Pearl Harbor. Does December 7th still resonate with them?

Will have to remember to ask my Mom.

A tough Choice

Went to the bookstore yesterday. Wanted to get Shanna Swendson's latest, Once Upon Stilletos. Found it and Lauren Barnholdt's Reality Chick. And my son wanted the latest Artemis Fowl. Went up to the counter. $35.00. WTF? There were no hardbacks here. They were all paperbacks. GAH! Couldn't afford that. I had 30.00 cash. I looked at the books in my hands. I was committed to Artemis Fowl. Reality Chick? Once Upon Stillettos? Even the wise women of the ages wouldn't be able to figure that one out! When I finally put one down and paid for the others, I felt a deep sense of loss. This wasn't the road less chosen, it was the book not chosen and in my mind, a book is far more important than a road.

Oh, and I will never take the little ones to the book store again. Not a satisfying trip AT ALL!

Question... which one did I choose? Eh?

Lovely, lovely

Yesterday, the kids went on an all day visit with their mom and grandpa. I took my own kids to the lake. The ice princess met her boyfriend out there , (he lives next to the lake,) my son fished and I lounged on a blanket and read a book I had picked up at the little store on the Lake. It was Fantastic. Mimosa Grove, it was called. Can't remember the author's name, but lurved the book. I rested, I relaxed, I fought off killer bees. Yes, killer bees. The minute I opened my Coke, they swarmed me. I finally covered the can and took it down the beach from me. The bees didn't bother me again.

Was lovely. The idea was for me to write, but the day was just perfect, about 80 degrees, with a slight breeze and the quiet was too seductive to even want to work. The scent was intoxicating, warm pine needles mixed with fresh water. Mmmm. A fine time was had by all. My son caught several fish, my daughter held hands with her boyfriend and got to know him better and I lazed in the sun like I used to. After we left, I took my kids to the rink where they were meeting their youth group after the Ice Princess taught a couple of classes. I didn't have to go out again. I took a nap, which would have been delectable, except I got six phone calls in two hours. Oh well, it was almost better that way because there was a smile on my face everytime I hung up the phone and realized I could go back to sleep again. I may not have recieved as much rest as I would have from a solid nap, but I enjoyed it more.

And the best part? They go on another visit today! But no rest today, I have to work on the few articles I have for the month of August and work on my fiction. Sounds like fun to me!

Fiction!

I actually wrote soem fiction yesterday! Mostly it consisted of opening HOT and changing a few things and starting the end of the first chapter, but I actually did it! It felt good and I didn't want to come back from that world, but I had to. Too much going on here.

I want to go deeper into the characters, learn about them in a more meaningful way. That's the only way I will be able to do them justice. I am excited about writing again. Want to do it so badly.

That's a very, very good thing!

Getting closer

My kids are over the little kids. They still help a lot, but I can tell by their attitudes that they're over it. Over getting woken up early(especially my daughter who has to get up so early for skating anyway. On her days off she wants to sleep!) Over sharing their rooms that they can no longer consider sanctuary. Over always having to feed the kids before they put food into their continually hungry teenage bodies. Over the house smelling like pee and poo. Over having to give up events because we have no one to watch the sleeping babies so I can pick them up. Over the noise, the sticky floors, the drool, the diapers and the bickering. Tired of their mother always being tired and bitchy. The court date is the eleventh and I am hoping that mommy gets them back. We cannot do this long term.

Not that my children are not compassionate. My son really doesn't want them going back with mom because he believes they won't have a chance of making a good life with her. But he is mature enough to know that we can't do this forever. And they are teens. Compassion will only take them so far. But they continue to help. Last night, they played yard games like Red Light Green Light and Simon Says while I made dinner. But their tempers and patience and tolerance is much shorter.

In writing news... congrats to all the RWA Rita and Golden Heart Winners! I can only imagine the excitment they all must be experiencing. How fun the gala must be. Perhaps next year. And in reading all the accounts of nationals, I am excited to get back to my writing. So even though I wasn't there, I have been encouraged. Now that is the power of a conference!

Book of Your Heart Finalist!

Just got the news that READ MY LIPS is a PASIC Book of Your Heart Finalist! I was so sure that it wouldn't make it! I sent in two and LIPS finaled! I was anxious about this contest because the preliminary judges are book sellers. My name was last on the list so I am thinking LIPS tied and barely managed to squeak by, but hey, I'll take it!

In other good news, one of my CP's, Dawn Groszek, finaled for contemp with her Love's Duet. So excited for her! And me!
Teri

One More

I have one more article to complete this month and I'm done with nonfiction for July. I managed to do seven this month which is amazing, considering. I have a couple set up for next month, but am going to have to hustle up a few more.

I filled out all the paper work for the camp for the eldest new kidlet. I think he'll have fun and God knows we need the break. The camp is longer than I had wanted... from nine am to four in the afternoon, but since they go on a lot of fieldtrips that is to be expected. And I think the kids will go back at the end of August, so it will work out just fine. I might actually have time to work on fiction.

Still not sure which book I am going to start on. My friend, Shirley Jump, just sold her 25th book in six years. I remember when she sold her first one... I was so happy for her. I can't believe what she's done with her career. So I may do the adult one first, just to get my feet wet, so to speak. Then I can start on Looking for Laguna.

Not much more to report, no clever observations or funny anecdotes. Too sleepy for that.

Drowning

In paperwork and work.

I have papers all over my desk. Wic papers, federal assistance papers (all three kids are elegible for assistance) papers to fill out to have the state pay for day camps for the eldest, papers filled with names of other foster parents to call for support, papers listing do's and don'ts for disciplining foster children... the list is endless. I know I can shove them all in the folder, but they have to be gone over, filled out and changes made.

Then there is writing. Finished another article today. The rough anyway. I am sure it is disjointed as I had to write in twenty minute increments. Am hoping for some time tonight to go over it and maybe finish another one. Am far behind and I haven't touched fiction in ages. I miss my CP's. I miss living in another world(I could use another world right about now!)

Everyone is gearing up for Nationals and once again I am feeling left out. Couldn't afford it. Didn't sell this year. (and as things turned out, I couldn't go anyway!) But, I am not complaining. Since the Reno Nationals, I've completed a really wonderful book and scored a top notch agent. Last year, I made more with my writing than I ever have. I have learned tons and tons and went to a writers conference where I met several wonderful agents and editors and made some good friends. And I scored a fabulous CP. (Hi Shannon!) So, all and all, I have moved foreward this year:)

I'll hang onto that:)
Teri

Memory trick?

Is it a memory trick or is it me?

I remember taking my children to the lake. Brown berry babies playing at the waters edge, exclaiming over their latest treasure, coming up to me for more snacks and to show me what they found. So I thought I would take the current crop of babies to the lake. Not even close. Kids hated getting too far away from me and hovered next to the blanket kicking sand on everything. Didn't know how to play alone. Baby wanted to eat sand and screamed for three hours because I wouldn't let her. I must have said "go play," 500 times.

Another illusion shot.

Am wavering between working on HOT and LOOKING FOR LAGUNA. Sigh. Thought I was ready to tackle an adult romance, but the teens of Laguna are louder. Teens are always louder. Of course, at the moment, I'm not finding time to write much of anything.

My agent is going to wait until September to pitch LIPS. Said she doesn't want to pitch anything so good in the month of August. So I will trust her judgement and wait. Maybe I will luck out and final in the Pasic contest. Not holding my breath, though. A lot of talented authors entered.

My Next Books...

Trying to get back into the swing of things. Have been thinking a lot on HOT. It has been languishing at chapter one for a couple of weeks now. Agent McDreamy isn't sure it's right for the line I've targeted. Am still going to write it, though. I think it's a great idea.

I do have another YA idea that has been forming. I like it and think it would sell. Have a lot more plotting to do on it. This one includes a working class girl and AM loves the idea of a working classs heroine. Will write out a synopsis one of these days. She needs to come from a midwestern state. Not sure which one though. But since it includes a road trip, it needs to be far enough from California to allow a long enough trip for all sorts of adventures to happen a long the way.

Can't wait to start writing fiction again. But first I have a ton of nonfiction to finish up. I worked on an article last night and will finish it this morning while the children are gone... they go visit their mom today. I have another one that is due that I need to get out, too. I need to be diligent and not get distracted! Not think about that warm soft bed that I could sink into for several hours. Sent LIPS out yesterday. Hope to hear from Agent McDreamy soon. I love sending stuff out and hearing where it's going to be pitched, etc. The excitement, the nerves, all of it. OTE recieved two more passes over the last week or so. Hardly even disappointed. I don't think it's going to sell. I look back on it and I can't believe it even got an agent. I'm so much better now, due, in part, to Shannon McKeldon, my amazing CP.

Nothing new to report on the kidlet front. They are small and warm and needy. I do have to say, that it's no wonder mom allows unsuitable men in her life... I have two teens and a husband and am barely surviving it. I couldn't imagine trying to do this on my own. (Not that that is an excuse to letting unsafe people into your children's lives... just an observation.)

Okay... rink time.

fini

Finished that last scene. My CP said it worked for her, so I am going to go over the manuscript one more time and send it to agent McDreamy. Whew!

I had several hours to myself yesterday. Wrote the scene, took a shower and cleaned my poor house. The boy was working and ice princess took the opportunity to go hang out with friends. I have all the info I need to write up a couple of articles. So in other words, I am staying afloat.

:)